Skins Recap: Season 4, Episode 6 (JJ)

Ahh, JJ. The nerd everyone loves to… love. As far as nerds go, I supposed he’s pretty cute.

And from what we see in episode 6, he’s a beast in the sack. But we’ll get onto that shortly…

At the beginning of his episode, JJ looks like he’s got a new job; he and Thomas are working in a sweet factory. Could there be a better job? Anyway, there’s this girl called Lara. JJ fancies her likes crazy and Thomas thinks she’s a little dishy too. Of course, JJ being JJ, he’s too scared to do anything about his little crush.

Thomas, in a bid to get JJ to ask Lara out, races to the office upstairs, claiming that if JJ doesn’t ask her out right now, Thomas will. JJ not knowing what else to do grabs the store announcer microphone, saying “Would you like to go out with me tonight?” as quickly as he can. Unexpectedly, Lara says yes. And in JJ’s words: Operation Lara is go.

Back at his house, JJ has a visitor. At first, he thinks it’s just Freddie with a huge bagful of homework, but when JJ’s Mother is out of earshot, he reveals that it’s actually Cook in the bag. JJ is shocked and faints at the sight of his prisoner friend.

Cook, not having had a shower in days, does so immediately. And right in front of JJ. JJ explains his worries over tonight’s dinner with Lara, and Cook being the Casanova (he thinks) he is gives him 3 tips: be cool, touch her and look at her pupils.

Breaking the ‘be cool’ rule straight away, JJ is 2 hours early for his date. Lara, dressed only in her dressing gown, invites him inside to ’show him something’. It’s not what you expect because… Lara has a baby! Yeah, you all thought she was making sexual advances, but it turns out she popped a baby out some time again. JJ is shocked (again), but shows little Albert some magic tricks while Lara gets ready.

Then, Lara’s ex-boyfriend – and also Albert’s Daddy – bursts through the front door. He threatens JJ, telling him that if he touches Lara or Albert, he will break him. Lara finishes getting ready, and they go out to the pub.

JJ is far too nervous (Cook’s rules just aren’t working for him!) and manages to spit in Lara’s face after inadvertently drinking Lara’s vodka and coke. While they are there, he also bumps into Emily who is with her ‘friend’ Mandy. JJ smells something fishy… But in a desperate attempt to not make the night any more worse, he heads to the bathroom. To sneak out of the window, obviously.

Of course, things only get worse for our resident geek. Lara walks through the door and catches JJ making his escape. He’s also in the ladies toilets. Woops.

Lara leaves in anger. JJ heads home, but on the way, he sees Lara sat on a bench outside thinking to herself. He sits down next to her and tells her that he really likes her. She explains that she thinks she’d like him too – if he didn’t try so hard. JJ starts to loosen up and they kiss. A lot.

Going against the words of Lara’s ex, Liam, JJ proceeds to have lots and lots of sex with Lara in her house. (Props should go to Ollie Barbieri for this scene by the way. It was perfect.)

The next day, JJ and his Mother visit the psychologist. Although JJ explains to his Mum that he has a girlfriend, she doesn’t believe him. His Doctor goes on to tell JJ that he doesn’t think he should ‘over-stimulate himself’ with a girl. Annoyed that no-one will believe in him, JJ lashes out after storming out of the hospital. And who should be there but Liam?

Liam sees the whole thing as JJ lashes out, pulling up plants from the outside of the clinic. He tells JJ that he’s going to tell Lara that he’s a psycho.

JJ tells Lara that he wants her to meet some of his friends, so what better place to take them than the ‘house of fun’? Whose house is that, you ask? Well, Naomi and Emily’s, of course. But any regular Skins fan will know that this couple are far from happy. The atmosphere is intense, and Naomily don’t know how to react around the baby.

Emily beckons JJ to go upstairs with her after he nearly blurts out that he saw Emily with Mandy in the pub the day before. Emily, trying to be a good friend, tells him that she thinks that Lara is using him because she has a child. JJ tells her that he trusts Lara, and that Emily should start to think about trust herself and it wouldn’t make anything better if she was cheating on Naomi. JJ leaves (yep, he’s grown a pair of balls) and Emily bawls her eyes out as she realizes yet again that her relationship is a mess.

JJ & Lara move on to visit his parents. They are shocked to see that she has a baby, and JJ’s Mother accidentally calls her a slut. Slip of the tongue, I guess. Lara says that she needs the bathroom, but when she realizes that it’s locked, she calls JJ.

Suddenly, JJ remembers something: Cook is hiding upstairs. JJ urges his Mother and Lara that they don’t need to go in the bathroom. After he freaks out, Lara leaves. JJ tells Cook to open the door and his Mum tells him he has to leave. Cook consoles JJ before leaving though, and explains he’ll have to go to Naomi’s because he’s running out of places to hide.

The next day, JJ goes to work to apologize to Lara, but meets Liam first. He lashes out on Liam, punching him in the face, and Lara sees the whole thing. She ends it on the intercom before things got any worse.

JJ returns home and gets a lovely talking to by his Father. He tells JJ that he liked the fact that he was clever and different from the other kids. JJ gets a sudden confidence boost and comes up with a new way of getting Lara back. While out walking, JJ also meets Liam, who has realized that JJ doesn’t want to be Albert’s new Dad and gives them his blessing.

While Lara is asleep, JJ throws his shoe at her bedroom window. She comes to the window, in a cheesy teen flick way, and there’s JJ out in the cold. Not alone though. JJ is with a band of ukulele players, complete with a ukulele himself, and a large banner that reads ‘Sorry for being a knob jockey.’

After serenading Lara with a sterling uke version of ‘True’ by Spandau Ballet, Lara runs downstairs and kisses him. Again, in a cheesy teen flick kinda way.

Next Week: It’s the second to last episode and we’re back to crazy Effy. But what’s to become of her? And does anyone wish there was more Pandora and Katie in this series?