You’re probably thinking ’she still is!’ Nuh uh. Not after this.

All About Steve is a twisted rom-com about a cruciverbalist (Bullock) who falls in love with a dishy news cameraman. What’s a cruciverbalist? Someone who writes crossword puzzles. And that’s not even the most lame part about it.

It’s not Bullock’s acting that makes this movie bad, per se, it’s the crappiness of the general storyline, plot and generally everything else that makes it awful.

One thing that is good? The music. The first song we hear is ‘Everybody’s Got Their Something’ by Nikki Costa, which makes me dance every time I hear it.

I suppose there were a couple of (stifled) giggles coming from the audience, but it wasn’t really a stand-up comedy.

Best performance definitely comes from Sandra, with Bradley Cooper as a nice little piece of eye candy for the ladies. (And the guys, if they like that sort of thing…)

Worst movie I’ve seen this year so far.

Overall Rating:

Of course, there are a lot of reasons for and against this dilemma, which is why I often result in drinking just because I can’t decide. (Or does this mean I have decided?… How confusing.)

So, although it sounds a lot like someone at alcoholics anonymous would does, I’ve decided to weight up the pros and cons of drinking on December 25th.

Pros.

• Getting merry from a lager with your friends is always fun. As long as it doesn’t end in fighting.
• Being drunk makes charades even funnier.
• Your family suddenly seem like the most interesting people in the world.
• Singing Christmas carols while drunk. Need I say more?

Cons.

• Stumbling and tumbling can lead to breakage of gifts, decorations and body parts. Not good.
• Hangover on boxing day. Less than pleasant.
• If you’re one of those types who forgets everything that happened when drunk, then that’s a whole Christmas you’ve forgotten.
• Being drunk can lead to scatty-ness. Scatty-ness can lead to forgetting to take the turkey out of the oven.

I could probably come up with a hundred more reasons why you should/shouldn’t drink on Christmas day, but I’ll probably still do it.

What about you? Will you be drinking today?

Whatever you do, remember to drink responsibly.

Beautiful ones. Useful ones. Boring ones.

But never in my entire life have I ever come across a website that has moved me. Or the words have stilled me. Or, most importantly, humbled me.

Violence Unsilenced is a website devoted to the expression, anonymous or not, of female experiences with abuse. Sexual. Physical. Emotional. Mental. Domestic. Regardless, it’s a site where people come together to share their support with someone who talks about their abuse. I found VU, as it’s often referred to, a while back, and before I knew it I became a regular ‘troop’ for these women, marching on and giving my support whenever it was needed.

In fact, as a personal rule, whenever I see a tweet pop up in my twitter to ask for support for the latest poster, I do. Not simply for the fact that I’m getting a mega dose of good karma, but because I know that if I were in their position, I would want someone to give a shit.

Without doubt, one of the most powerful feelings created from Violence Unsilenced is the spirit of community and mutual support. Often within a few hours of posting, one person’s experiences can have anywhere from 10 to 50 comments giving support, love and kindness. It’s not just empowering for the writer, but it’s hugely powerful for the commenter. Well, it is for me, at least.

More beautifully is how obvious it is that violence unsilenced is needed. According to the about page itself, VU has a backlog of posts to be published of several months. Combined with the worrying ‘FAST ESCAPE’ buttons in the sidebar and helpline numbers sprinkled throughout the site, it only leads me to find Maggie, the creator, a compassionate and wonderful woman for birthing Violence Unsilenced into the world.

Something which I will never forget, however, is a little extra bit of effort Maggie herself made for me a few weeks ago.

I was checking my emails and, out of the blue, I noticed an email from her. Of all things, she was thanking me for being a regular commenter. She said that me being a guy can very much help posters on the site to not form negative associations with men in general (well, no, she didn’t say that exactly, but it was implicit about the man thing), and to just say that she appreciates my commenting.

And yet, for me, that to me is everything that Violence Unsilenced is about.

Going the extra mile. Doing something kind, even though you don’t have to. Appreciating someone and their sharing of words, just because you know it’s not always easy to write them.

That’s what VU is to me. And for that? I am deeply, deeply moved.

Seeing as I wasn’t really expecting too much probably made it seem better, because in truth, she was actually f*cking amazing!

We first saw her rising from the floor in a sequinned black blazer and a vintage bowler hat, singing one of her unreleased songs. The word ‘Lily’ flashed up everywhere on the screen behind her, as the whole room screamed in her presence.

Speaking of presence, Lily had an utterly charming one. You feel at home with her, not threatened as you would perhaps with someone like Beyonce or Britney, but as if she’s actually your mate. She didn’t refrain from making eye contact with the audience and flashing us a smile every now and again.

She sang exceptionally well and her dancing was extremely cute and boppy. Her best performance? Well her rendition of ‘Littlest Things’ from her first album was totally bittersweet and perhaps a little bit sad, but it was stunning to watch and listen to.

I also enjoyed the best track on her newest album, in my opinion, ‘F*ck You’, which she dedicated to everyone who wanted to tell someone to shove it where the sun ain’t shinin’. During this song, she also convinced the whole audience to put up their middle finger and curse like there was no tomorrow.

Fantastic.

I’d recommend Lily to anyone. There’s something for the lads, the girls, the old and the young. The old may be perhaps a little bit shocked at times, but they’d enjoy it nevertheless. What a woman.

Overall Rating: 6 out of 5. I’m not over-exaggerating, she was actually that good.

I was just watching The X Factor and she’s pretty much the most annoying, most pointless thing I’ve ever seen on TV.

It’d be alright if she ever had anything decent to talk about. It’d be alright if she was indeed successful herself. It’d be alright if she actually knew her stuff. It’d be alright if she was nice to look at.

The thing is, she is none of these things. I watch as she sits in Cheryl’s shadow with mediocre hair and an annoying accent. Okay, some of you may say that Cheryl’s accent is more annoying, but if you do, I’d tell you to f**k right off. My family are all Geordies and we will hurt you.

I love to rant and rave about Danni, as she seems to think that being on The X Factor makes her superior to her sister, Kylie. Obviously, this is not the case. Everyone knows that Kylie is a better singer with more top ten hits and a prettier exterior. All in all, it’s safe to say that she’ll never win her sister at anything.

Why am I reviewing her? Because here at the Wiggle, we can review anything. And I mean anything. From cereals to eyebrows, underwear to potato wedges, we’ll review it. So I have chosen to review a person. A person who deserves no more publicity on this website.

I give Danni a ZERO OUT OF FIVE. Loser.

Sopho, Matt and Lauren (that’s us!) recently ventured out together for a coffee trip, not expecting much, other than a little quiet time away from the Wiggle. There was no reason why we chose this particular coffee shop, it was simply the first one we came to. Also, the fact that Onion despises any big corporations (Starbucks, McDonald’s, Caffé Nero) ended up in us going for the more independent coffee chain.

This post comes in three categories: Food & Drink, Décor and the Staff, which consists of one single little man, who runs the whole show.

Food and Drink

The most important part of a coffee shop is obviously what is available to drink. And snacks come a close second.

The coffee at Muse is strong – just the way I like it. Add sugar if you don’t. Some advice for you there. I also tried a sip of Sopho’s fancy flavoured Gingerbread latté, which was extreeeeemely sweet, but tasted like Christmas. (The sweetness could be down to the six tubes of sugar she put in there.)

There’s even something for your vegan friends; Matt settled for some black tea, which was supposed to be peppermint.

The food consisted mainly of sugary, fattening cakes and sweets. I like that. For someone with a sweet tooth, it was like heaven. They had a selection of the cutest cupcakes I had ever seen, decorated with pink icing and stars, or yellow icing and jelly tots. Just beautiful. I went for a flapjack. Which was, by the way, the BEST flapjack I have ever eaten. It was gooey, syrupy and I didn’t actually want to finish eating it because it was so good.

Lauren gives the food & drink a 5 out of 5.

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Décor.

Now, I guess I have to half agree with Lauren that if you’re going to a coffee shop then the food and drink is pretty damn important. But would you really want to sit and drink your Cappucino in squallor? No. No matter how good it might taste.

Ideally situated opposite to the new Nottingham Contemporary, this coffee shop is artistic in it’s own right. The big black boards behind the counter made it easy to choose what to order,  but the cute little drawings remind you that you’re not in some big corporate business.  Although the little round tables and the high ‘breakfast bar’ style seating looked comfortable enough (and all enabled you to use WiFi on your laptop), we were really drawn to the two leather sofas by the counter.

Now,  I know it’s only November, and I’m usually against Christmas decorations being up early, but next to these sofas was the cutest Christmas tree I’ve ever seen. Apart from making me smile as soon as I saw it, this little tree made the fwhole place feel indescribably cosy, without being so much that I felt it was December the 25th already. Overall, I’d say that there are very few places I’d rather spend a Saturday afternoon than this cute little coffee shop with a shower in the toilets.

Sopho gives the décor a well deserved 5 out of 5.

The Staff

Upon entering the Muse coffee shop and becoming overwhelmed with its chique environment, my eyes soon found focus on the single member of staff in the place.

This man, whose name I do not know (and after sweeping over a google search, I couldn’t find), was initially a very pleasant sight.

Being a man-lover and everything, I was initally very much drawn to his attractive (yet politely restrained) facial hair and his young looks. He seemed like just the type of person I’d like to be served by in a coffee shop.

That is, I would’ve loved to have been served by him if there were OTHER STAFF in the place.

Because within about 30 seconds, the problem of having only one person staffing everything fell quickly into place. And unfortunately for Muse, the looks couldn’t make up for the inherent problems encountered.

At the time, there was a small group of us at the counter. Plus a man who had just come in with his wife. There were a number of orders taking place, and whilst we all watched absently, he frantically dodged around the ‘cosy’ preparation area.

Whilst the ‘homely’ feeling remained by having just one member of staff — and no doubt the kitchen-y section would’ve become very cramped with another person in there — there was still a sense of, hmm, dangerous speed.

And by dangerous, I mean ‘you better take my order right, god dammit’.

Which he didn’t. Slightly surprising, because, as I recall, our brief exchange went as follows:

“Tea, yeah?”

“Yeah. Herbal tea. Peppermint.”

And I got regular, milk-free, sugared black tea.

Which I don’t drink.

And promptly gave to a friend. Who also disliked it. Hmm.

Though, sure, the taste of the nasty black tea wasn’t his fault, receiving it was.

And sure. I could’ve quickly told him that my order was wrong and for him to change it. But with him continuing to bounce off the walls of this tiny little preparation area, a part of me felt anxious to stop him to ask to give me what I actually asked for. His speed was… strangely, dominating.

Albeit, he was friendly enough. And his looks did indeed buffer him from a real markdown on the place.

But honestly? I don’t think I’ll ever return.

In the owner/runner’s defence, after looking at their new twitter stream it would appear that muse is new, so I do sympathise with the inevitable problem of not having any other staff yet. So, in fairness his getting-wrong-of-my-order can be slightly excused.

Matt gives the runner of the whole show a 2.5 out of 5.

There’s just something about the way a simple painting or sketch can evoke so many different emotions that takes my breath away.

This year saw the grand opening of a new art gallery in Nottingham: the Nottingham Contemporary.

Architecturally, the outside of the building blends in with the rest of the city: you barely even see it if it’s not pointed out to you. This is obviously greatly unlike other contemporary art centres in Britain; there is nothing grand about the contemporary’s exterior, and compared to buildings such as the Tate in London and Birmingham’s Hippodrome, the gallery is nothing more than a block of middle range offices.

Up close however, the building is so much more. Carefully intercepted into the outer walls is a layer of lace. Nottingham is historically known for its lace production – the lace market is still open in the city – and this touch of elegance to an otherwise dull looking building invites you in single-handedly.

This week I took a trip to the new gallery for The Daily Wiggle, and what a pleasure it really was.

I took a look at some of the art currently on show online before I went and thought it was great. But when I actually got there, it was even more than I expected.

From now until January 24th, 2010, David Hockney’s exhibition “A Marriage of Styles” holds pride of place in the gallery. Up close, the way in which Hockney paints water with all its varying direction and colour is astounding. Some of the explanations for his pieces are really thought-provoking and interesting, often with simplistic yet ideal titles.

My personal favourite is ‘The Bigger Splash’, a painting he explains that took him two weeks to create. The magic behind the piece, he claims, is how a moment that lasted no longer than 2 seconds took him so much longer to re-create in art form. Other outstanding pieces include ‘We Two Boys Together Clinging’ and ‘Man Taking Shower in Beverley Hills.’

Also currently available for viewing is the more modern Frances Stark; an upcoming female artist from Los Angeles who focuses more on simplicity and sculpture.

On the whole, the Nottingham Contemporary left me feeling extremely satisfied and much of the work inside took my breath away. I wouldn’t recommend visiting if you didn’t like art – the art on show is not exactly your traditional, pretty painting. But for art lovers everywhere, this perfect public display is a must-visit.

Let’s face it, when Cheryl announced that she’d soon be releasing a single, no one was expecting greatness. Turns out Ms. Cole had the last laugh when her single ‘Fight For This Love’  went straight to number one in the UK. The track was catchy, fun and was great to sing along to – most people were impressed by the Girls Aloud bandmates’ first release.

And now her album has been released, it seems Cheryl is only on the way up.

The first song on the CD is ‘3 Words’, which features Black Eyed Peas Will.I.Am and will be her first release in the USA. It, along with the rest of the album, comes with a familiar R&B quality to it – quite different to the songs Cheryl would be singing with her bandmates.

Other songs that are sure to become pop anthems include ‘Parachute’ and ‘Don’t Talk About This Love’, which have a catchy chorus with a background synth to match. The album as a whole seems to focus mainly on the theme of love and heartbreak, but what can you expect with what the lovely lady undeservingly went through last year?

From this stunning debut effort from the most popular Girls Aloud popstrel, it’s obvious that Cheryl’s future is going to be a successful one.

This Geordie lass really is a diamond from the rough.

Today’s post is about a guy called Tim.

Tim Minchin to be precise.

Yeah, that’s him just up there.

So yeah, I went to see him tonight. For the 4th time.

That alone says enough to me to be honest, you don’t go to see somebody completely shit four times do you.

Though I must admit, he’s a bit of a Marmite kind of kid (by this I mean you either love him or you hate him, not that he smells funky and makes people feel queasy), so I won’t be angry if you disagree and think he’s crap. But your opinion’s wrong if that’s the case. Okay?

I know that ’cause the Daily Telegraph said that So F**king Rock was “One of the funniest & most amazing shows you’ll ever see”. So there.

But yeah, anyway. He was absolutely F’in hilarious. And this is coming from someone who’s heard ALL of the songs before!

The wide range of topics he covers are genuinely amusing, and his lyrics are incredibly well thought-out and written. Who needs one-liners with fantastic musical comedians like this around.

S o yeah, take that little mouse of yours, go to youtube and check him out.
That’s all I ask.
I promise.

Whoa whoa whoa. Is that the girl off X Factor?

The one who didn’t win?

Yeah, that one…

THAT’S HER! OMGOMGOMG *cries*

The above is actually pretty much an exact extract from a conversation that happened at our local school today.

See, us small town folk get real excited about people who aren’t even famous just ’cause they’ve been on TV. To be honest, I think you could appear on The Jeremy Kyle Show and we’d be crazed enough to ask for your autograph.

Anyway, the point of this post is that ex-X Factor contestant from 2008’s show Laura White appeared at our school today. I don’t know if you remember her, but she was in the same category as Alexandra Burke, the show’s winner, and there was a massive public outcry when she ‘undeservingly’ left. And sure enough, when she turned up at our school, everyone went crazy. Her voice was actually really good to be truthful and she also sang her new single (which you can watch below!)

The highlight was obviously when she asked me and several other people to come down and dance with her. It was hot, sweaty and AWESOMEEEE.

On the whole, we all had a great, B.O-filled time. She’s no Cheryl Cole, but she’ll do for now.