For me? I love a good appliance. A busty blender. An magnificent mixer.

This week: A miniature food processor (“mini chopper”) by the oft-proclaimed master in the kitchen appliance world, Kenwood.

Now first and foremost, I’ve gotta say I was initially DYING to try this out. Not only did we not have any sort of food-processor-type appliance in our kitchen (boo!), but also, being a vegan, I need something that can chop, grind and partially-purée products efficiently. After the Kenwood blender attachment to our big Kenwood mixer station turned out to be, well, a bit ineffective at blending anything but the most water-based of potions, I was having to smush everything up with a hand blender.

Not fun. Especially with tomato-based things (read: TOMATO EVERYWHERE).

So, where was I? Oh yeah. The mini chopper and my epic excitement. Not only was it something I’d been needing for such a long while, it had the sticker pictured right attached to it, too. Considering I’d drop my homosexual trou’ for Delia Smith (below) at any point in the day, I was looking forward to whipping up mini batches of delicious with my new mini chopper.

I wish I could deliver happier news.

My first foray into using it was of lukewarm success. The sauce had been whizzed into an acceptible thickness and my pasta seemed to enjoy its state of liquidity. Unfortunately, this was probably the best I could get out of this little hunk of technology.

On the second use I found the screw-on top of the processor got itself stuck and then, as I went to wash my hands, something suddenly exploded and richocheted off the side of the fridge. After recovering from my sudden “OMGWTFATERRORISTISINTHEHOUSE” reaction, I soon found that the base had somehow screwed itself on too tightly (which is odd, as the screw only has one “track” to go down). The base had chipped and then flung off. Not fantastically inspired by this, but I went on. Everything gets a little broken, right?

On my third attempt, using it seemed to go okay until the blade, which I had under-estimated in uber sharpness, suddenly ripped out a chunk of my thumb. That was a fun, blood-filled night, for sure.

On the fourth and, honestly, most frustrating-of-them-all go, I found the mini chopper battling something which I would’ve thought would be EASY for a food processor, mini or not: herbs. Sadly, the chopper just couldn’t handle them very well and, despite the piercing wails that it produced, my basil and thyme remained unchopped. I was not amused.

And tonight? After a thorough washing from last time’s experience I promptly found a gush of trapped water ruminating in one of its several shafts. After attempting to wash, drain and dry it all out, I’m still pretty sure I’ve just infected myself with some type of fungus.

Arguably, Kenwood’s “Mini Chopper” is living up to the same expectation which we should expect: a small, extremely-sharp bladed, screamingly-loud food processor fit to process very small quantities at a time. The entire contraption seems to have 2 settings built into it: screechingly fast and quiet-screechingly stuck. Frankly, coming from a company which touts itself as being the best in the kitchenware business, its mini food processor leaves a lot to be desired; not to mention, cleaned.

And for that reason I would urge you to purchase a more conventional Kenwood food processor rather than the mini chopper unless you’re prepared to do a lot of awkward drying, put up with something screaming in your kitchen and your herbs to wrap around the blade connector shaft.

It is because of all of this that…

Unimpressed, I give Kenwood’s Mini Chopper a frustrated 3 out of 10

I mean,TV is fine for a while. But, just between you and me, I get pretty tired of watching predictable storylines and un-original content which I could find on 7 other channels.

So, being a typical man, I decided to return to my computer-game playing roots and checked out something I’ve been looking to play for a good long while:

Supreme Commander.

Labelled as the “spiritual successor” to the fondly-remembered Total Annihilation, Supreme Commander holds the same premise of technologically-advanced factions fighting each other to gain the highest level of power in their universe.

Now, as you can tell from the name, Supreme Commander was intended to be a game where you’d have an extremely large amount going on all at once. Indeed, it touts a simple scrolling system to be able to zoom out from your current view into a map-wide one. In the same fashion, you can narrow all the way down to see waves running up shorelines and individual turrents on your naval units.

The game itself consists of 3 separate factions: The United Earth Federation (“UEF”), the Cybran Nation and the Aeon.

The UEF is a militaric ‘federation’ whose intent is to impose peace through the use of baring arms. Their units are pretty vanilla in style and, overall, hold to be the most ‘human’ looking of the three factions (go figure…).

The Cybran Nation are a group of cyborg humans who, originally, lived in peace with normal humans until riots started to break out and they left to form their own colonies (after a large amount of these cyborg humans were ‘pacified’, as the intro to the game informs us). Their units appear to be much more hellish-looking, with small, random, jutting spikes being present on most things you build.

The last is the Aeon, a group of mysterious humanoids who practice something called ‘the way’. It is inferred to us that the way supports peace throughout the universe, though, just like with the UEF, they demand it through the use of arms. This faction is much more ethereal looking — most structures have few straight lines in their meshes (contrasting to the UEF’s structures, which are generally VERY box like) and their units are similarly designed.

The missions themselves occur along 3 different storylines, each based upon a specific faction.

As the game is ’supreme’, the graphics are — like I mentioned — delicious to look at. However, far too often I found myself watching the zoomed-out whole map screen, not being able to differentiate which units were which without working out what I’d sent where.

In fact, all too often it can seem like the whole system of grandness instilled in the game is a little flawed. With no way to turn down the scrolling speed in the options menu, I often found myself using the zoom in/zoom out functions to get myself across the map. Whilst this wasn’t necessarily a problem, at times it was a bit of a fuss. And likewise, because of how many units you have to send in different directions, it can often be very, very difficult to appreciate the detail that was built into the graphics. Watching my ‘commander’ unit knock down trees as he stamps along to his next location can easily go unnoticed because of the sudden air strike noted on the zoomed-out map radar and the 6 submarines which are bombing my ship factories.

The units themselves are split along 3 tiers: Land, Air and Naval. Often, however, the tiers overlap — for example, the UEF have an amphibuous tank which can skim across the surface of water without slowing down whatsoever. Likewise, the Cybran’s have a ship which can deploy legs to walk over any land which should get in its way. Though, doing so makes the ship move very slowly.

And therein lies one of Supreme Commanders main flaws: its AI. Often the AI built into Supreme Commander is lacking, at best. Every time I’ve asked a group of 5+ units to go somewhere, I watch the command slowly spread across the group, ultimately making the entire selection of units move in an extremely ugly — not to mention tactically poor — line towards wherever I’ve clicked.

In the same vein, often the AI doesn’t seem to recognize what’s going on — especially when it’s losing. On more than one occasion I’ve zerged a base only to later find peripheral tanks positioned which haven’t been scrambled to counter-attack me. Whilst it doesn’t necessarily negate immersion into the game, it can sometimes be a bit of a “What the heck?” moment.

Don’t be fooled by my harsh words, though. There are many, many fine points about Supreme Commander. My most pressing of which being the music.

Jeremy Soule, the creator of the score for Total Annihilation, the Guild Wars series, TES 3: Morrowind, TES 4: Oblivion and Order of War, amongst others, has obviously put his soul (excuse the pun) into the music for Supreme Commander. Scores that range from patriotically inspirational to ruminatingly low add perfectly to create an ambiance that matches the current goings-on in the game. Sometimes the game will think I’m under attack (say I’ve left a building to degrade instead of completing construction of it), and when one of the several extremely inspirational scores start playing, I find myself just building units and sending them to some noble suicide just to make what’s going on match the music.

It’s fantastic, and considering Soule’s other mega successes with previous scores (many of which I have on my computer as I write this because of just how dear the music is to me), there’s no surprise that Supreme Commander soon becomes an experience from the music. You can find a wide selection of his previous work, including Supreme Commander, along with previews of songs on DirectSong.

Overall, Supreme Commander is a fantastic way to forget about real life. It’s interesting, gripping and isn’t simply a collection of “Destroy the enemy” missions. Whilst you’ll sometimes find the AI to be a little stunted, and a few other personal niggles like scrolling speeds, you’ll soon be hooked to Supreme Commander.

A delicious game which I’m happy to recommend, and so I happily award this game 8 out of 10 stars:

Beautiful ones. Useful ones. Boring ones.

But never in my entire life have I ever come across a website that has moved me. Or the words have stilled me. Or, most importantly, humbled me.

Violence Unsilenced is a website devoted to the expression, anonymous or not, of female experiences with abuse. Sexual. Physical. Emotional. Mental. Domestic. Regardless, it’s a site where people come together to share their support with someone who talks about their abuse. I found VU, as it’s often referred to, a while back, and before I knew it I became a regular ‘troop’ for these women, marching on and giving my support whenever it was needed.

In fact, as a personal rule, whenever I see a tweet pop up in my twitter to ask for support for the latest poster, I do. Not simply for the fact that I’m getting a mega dose of good karma, but because I know that if I were in their position, I would want someone to give a shit.

Without doubt, one of the most powerful feelings created from Violence Unsilenced is the spirit of community and mutual support. Often within a few hours of posting, one person’s experiences can have anywhere from 10 to 50 comments giving support, love and kindness. It’s not just empowering for the writer, but it’s hugely powerful for the commenter. Well, it is for me, at least.

More beautifully is how obvious it is that violence unsilenced is needed. According to the about page itself, VU has a backlog of posts to be published of several months. Combined with the worrying ‘FAST ESCAPE’ buttons in the sidebar and helpline numbers sprinkled throughout the site, it only leads me to find Maggie, the creator, a compassionate and wonderful woman for birthing Violence Unsilenced into the world.

Something which I will never forget, however, is a little extra bit of effort Maggie herself made for me a few weeks ago.

I was checking my emails and, out of the blue, I noticed an email from her. Of all things, she was thanking me for being a regular commenter. She said that me being a guy can very much help posters on the site to not form negative associations with men in general (well, no, she didn’t say that exactly, but it was implicit about the man thing), and to just say that she appreciates my commenting.

And yet, for me, that to me is everything that Violence Unsilenced is about.

Going the extra mile. Doing something kind, even though you don’t have to. Appreciating someone and their sharing of words, just because you know it’s not always easy to write them.

That’s what VU is to me. And for that? I am deeply, deeply moved.

Lauren and Sopho put forward their arguments as owners of either the BlackBerry or the iPhone respectively, also highlighting the bad points of each. Balanced argument. Fun way to procrastinate. Enjoy.

Argument A: In Favour of the BlackBerry

BlackBerry – often confused for ‘blueberry’ – is a favourite among the celebs. You can’t even watch an episode of ‘The Hills’ on MTV without seeing one of its so-called ’stars’ with a vintage BlackBerry Curve. But why is it so popular? The are the reasons I came up with.

1) Vanity.

• You bought your BlackBerry to look good to your friends. Jealousy is always great when its not you who’s green with envy.
• Having a BlackBerry makes you look more professional in an interview situation. For example, walking in with your phone come personal organiser would look much more impressive than strolling in with a Sony Ericsson walkman phone.
• On a date, a BlackBerry makes you seem more sophisticated to your friend with its fancy-schmansy QWERTY keypad. Although saying ‘fancy-schmansy’ on a date is probably a big no-no.

2) Organisation.

• The little BlackBerry may look more complicated, but once you get the hang of it, it keeps all your notes, key dates and appointments neat and tidy in one little block. That’s what instruction manuals are for.
• Thinking about it, the BlackBerry saves a lot of trees; post-its are extremely thankful. The BlackBerry even has a ‘Post-It Note’ app, so it avoids cluttering your desk with unsightly yellow paper.

So why is the BlackBerry better than the iPhone?

The iPhone seems much more of a ‘follow-the-crowd’ type of phone. “OMG, did you see the new iPhone?” is more often said than “Jeez, that new BlackBerry looks so fly, natch.” Even the adverts are more gimmicky. BlackBerry’s ads just get the point across simply and stylistically, but the people at Apple mess about with the white background and mind-boggling scrolling of the iPhone’s screen. Gives me a headache.

Another thing you should know about me: I do not work well with touch screens. It’s not that my fingers are fat or anything, but if I go to type an ‘e’ on a touch screen, I manage to catch the ‘r’, ‘d’ and even possibly the ‘n’. THAT’S how uncompatible we are.

Bad things about the BlackBerry? I would say that if you’re not great with QWERTY, it’s a bit of a problem. However, iPhone keypads also function with the QWERTY keypad, so that argument pretty much goes out of the window.

It could also be said that the over-complicated nature of the BlackBerry’s appearance could scare off potential partners or employers. Especially when your new boss is even more easily confused than you are.

Over to you, Sopho.

Argument B: In favour of the iPhone

Okay, so hey. I’ve been the, very happy, owner of an iPhone for almost two years now, and if you knew my history with phones you’d really appreciate just what an impressive statement that is. So, here are some of my reasons as to exactly why the iPhone is so sought-after.

1. The Design

• Anyone who says that the sleek and simple style of the iPhone isn’t attractive is either a liar or blind. With no keys to detract from the elegance of the large glass screen, this phone is actually a work of art.
• The design of the home page is also simple, easy to use and attractive to the eye. With all functions clearly labelled as well as having simple yet easily recognisable icons, it’s never an issue to find exactly what you’re looking for.

2. Its Millions Of Uses

• Nearly everyone has a phone. But the iPhone is more than just a phone. Yes, it texts, it allows you to make calls and it take photos which are clear rather than blurry, but it has so many other functions. It’s like a phone, laptop, camera, GPS, scientific calculator, notebook and iPod all rolled into one. Yes, it’s probably bigger than your average phone (though very similar in size to the BlackBerry) but think off all the things you don’t have to carry round when you have this in your pocket.
• If we just go into the internet in detail for a moment, well, it’s wonderful. The fact that I can go on Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, MSN, and of course The Daily Wiggle all at the same time, means that I never feel left-behind. Also, the fact that when I’m on the internet I view the real internet pages, NOT the mobile internet pages is a definitely bonus. As far as this phone goes, being able to visit YouTube, check my emails and pop to the iTunes store on-the-go definitely becomes taken for granted
• As for all the Apps available, well, where do I begin? As everybody knows, there are Apps for just about everything, I could probably stay here writing them all day and never get done.

3. Its Durability

• Now, unlike the JCB phone, the iPhone doesn’t claim to be indestructible, but I can honestly tell you that I’ve put mine through hell and back and it’s never failed me yet. Having been in two fishbowls and down the toilet this phone is still soldiering on with no lasting damage. Also, the number of times I’ve dropped and thrown my phone is unbelieveable (it’s not because I get annoyed with it, just because I’m very accident-prone), and although it has a few war-wounds on the back (which would be avoided with the new model), the screen remains not only in one piece but also scratch-free, which is som sort of miracle to be honest.

So why would I always choose the iPhone over the BlackBerry?

Well, if you enjoy fiddling about with tiny keys, then by all means go and buy yourself a BlackBerry, I’m sure Lauren is right when she says it’s a very good phone indeed… But, if you want the world at your fingertips, no matter where you are, then the iPhone’s the one for you. As for the touch screen issue that Voice raised, I understand exactly where she’s coming from. I used to class myself as a ‘fat thumbed, touch screen imbecile’, until I got an iPhone. Now I get numerous people, even Voice herself, commenting on just how fast I type on it. And if you’re prone to typos? The iPhone’s word-recognition is unlike that of any other phone I know.  Very rarely does my phone not correctly guess the word I’ve incorrectly typed, in fact I’d say it knows what I want to say even before I do.

And yes, I know what you’re about to say… “But Sopho, surely you can’t love everything about the iPhone?”

Well, I guess that’s true. My phone is probably the single most distracting phone ever in the history of the universe. Because it has everything, I often find it hard to distance myself from it long enough in order to actually get my work done. But apart from that, no, I really can’t see any other major problems.

So that’s it, we’ve both had our say.

But what do you think?

We want to know which side you’re on and why.

Uhm.

So, yeah, Twitter is lovely.  It’s addictive and delicious and a great way to tell other people things which they never needed to realise. 

You know, tweets about bowel evacuations and crabs.  Not that I’ve ever tweeted about those things. Like, ever.

And whilst Twitter is wonderfully delicious in all forms social, I have a massive gripe with it all.

Errors.

A long time ago I used to have a MySpace.  I know, right? What was I thinking?  If I remember rightly, every other time I pressed something, MySpace crashed.  Or was over capacity.  Or some combination of the previous.  I hated it.

Now, when I joined Twitter I expected it to be a bit more advanced than ye olde MySpace.  After all, it’s far more attractive and far less complex.  So, naturally, I would expect far fewer errors.  Makes sense, right? 

Apparently, wrong.

Now, though I no longer use the web interface for Twitter (Spaz and Tweetdeck are my applications of choice), I can’t help but be frequently infuriated when trying to expand my following circle.

Picture this:  I’m on Spaz and it’s a Friday. Because it’s a Friday, it naturally means that it’s Follow Friday.  So I’m flicking through my tweets and looking at all of the different people that are being suggested to me, and I chance upon someone who I think seems pretty awesome.

Now, because following people on TweetDeck is largely unreliable (at least for me) — and following on Spaz is non-existent (as far as I know) — I’m thus left to go on the Twitter main site and follow them ‘manually’.

So I get onto Twitter.  I spend 5 minutes going through the reams of passwords that I have.  I finally log on.  I flick down and after several errors and refreshings-of-the-page,  I finally manage to find the tweets listing the people I want to follow.

Awesome.  It only took me about 15 minutes to get here.

So I right click on their name and open their twitter stream up.  I click follow.

“Uh oh!  An error has occured.  Try refreshing the page.”

I refresh it.  I click again.

“Uh oh! An error has occured.  Try refreshing the page.”

Grrr.  I refresh it and click AGAIN.

“Uh oh! An error has occured.  Try refreshing the page.”

In my frustration, I click on the ‘follow’ button about 20 times rapidly.

Oh look!  By brute force, I’m now following them.

Call me impatient, but I’m one of those people that prefer things to work on their first try.

And I love you Twitter, I really do, but if you’re going to make me jump through hoops I’m just going to continue to complain.

Because frankly?  You have the highest-increasing membership rates of any social website in the world.

You have endless amounts of potential to earn revenue.

You get publicity from newspapers, television and reports on crime.

You help prevent suicide and allow great relationships to form.

So why, oh why, is it impossible for your web interface to work properly?  It’s like you’ve baked a cake but it’s still raw in the centre.  Everyone has to eat around it. 

It’s just not right.

And so Twitter, here’s me asking.  Here’s me requesting.  Will you please — PLEASE – make your main site a little more stable?

Because frankly?  Good ol’ users like me are getting tired of having to use brute force when our mothers told us not to.

If you didn’t know, GetClicky is a web-traffic stats site that helps you, the user, find out when people are landing on your site.

But that’s not it.  Oh no.  GetClicky tells you where they came from, how long they stayed, where they went, their IP addresses (be forewarned, trolls), and so much more.

The thing that we love about it, though, is the fact that it’s more than just a traffic-reporting service.

It’s a great way to procrastinate.

It’s a fantastic form of entertainment.

Heck, if you’re a neurotic guy like me, it’s something you can use to endlessly obsess over.

It’s that good.

To the right is a lovely picture of just one of the many screens GetClicky serves up to you. 

And don’t be fooled: I was NOT paid to write this totally epic review of GetClicky.  Anyway, isn’t doing that type of thing illegal or frowned upon or somefin’ now?

Anyway.  It’s awesome and if you have your own site (which I know you totally do, because everyone has one these days)you should totally get GetClicky.

If not to get sexy stats for your own site or to satisfy your currently salivating inner techno geek, but definately to placate the obvious love I have for this super-useful site I was informed about (this awesome gal told me).

I mean, even if you don’t have your own site or want awesome web stats, you simple can’t deny that the name ‘GetClicky’ is uber awesome.  Uber.

But yeah.  I love GetClicky.  We use it for our site.  Both my personal blog and Voice’s personal blog use it.  Who knows, maybe GinGin’s will start using it too?

To conclude (so you actually have some idea of what I’ve been splurging on about):

GetClicky = Web-traffic reporting and analysis site.  It has lots of features.  We love it.  We procrastinate with it (a lot). Nom.  :]