Instead, I’m going to name this episode ‘Remember December’. Why? Well, there are 2 reasons.

1) Demi Lovato guest stars in this episode and this is the title of her hit song.

and 2) Remember in December when everyone was fine and jolly? You know, at Christmas when there were songs and smiling? Yeah. It’s a far cry from this episode.

Surgery of the Week.

Embarrassingly for me, I am a Demi Lovato fan, so surgery of the week is going to have to go there I’m afraid.

Lovato, a.k.a. Hayley, comes onto the scene this week because everyone thinks she’s crazy.

Karev rather randomly realizes that she’s not and starts to investigate. Turns out, she has a rare form of vertigo, that is making her R.E.M. crazy and makes her hear all her organs working inside her body, forcing her to scream. Shepherd fills a hole in her skull and HEY PRESTO! Lovato sans insanity.

Romantic Moment of the Week.

Hey guys, meet Henry and Betty.

I’m pretty sure this happened before in Grey’s, but I might be imagining it… Anyway, these 2 haven’t seen each other for over 40 years, but as fate would have it, they met again this week at SGMWH.

It turns out that they were actually each other’s first loves, and they end up going to live with each other in the end. Aww.

Bailey Moment of the Week.

Oh Bailey, finally getting some action this week are we?

This was without doubt the best Bailey moment this week.

The fact that she’s not had a single love interest since her ex-husband Tucker made me wonder if the writers had forgotten about her altogether. YOU GO, GIRL.

Quote of the Week.

I totally forgot that Callie & Mark were best friends, if I’m honest with you. But as soon as I heard this, I realized that I really missed them.

Anyway, this week, Callie convinces Mark to talk to Lexie, which results in this conversation:

Mark: She’s with Karev.
Callie: Yeah, well, Betty married Mike, but she never got over Henry.
Mark: [totally lost] What?
Callie: You don’t want 50 years to go by and realize that you let the love of your life get away. So, go. Try.
Mark: You going to try again with Robbins?
Callie: [sighs]
Mark: Why not?
Callie: Because, my reasons are still reasons.

*sigh* We all feel for you, Torres.

Overall Episode Rating: 7 out of 10.

I’m hoping next week’s finale is a HUGE bundle of greatness. This week’s was okay but… meh! I’ve seen the first 10 minutes and I feel safe to say it looks amazing.

Of course, I’d be referring to Callie & Arizona when I say this, and hopefully it is the FINAL heartbreak for them, because when (AND THEY WILL!) get back together, they’ll be together for all eternity.

Surgery of the Week.

Only one major, major surgery this week: FAT MAN!

Sorry, Bailey. Slip of the tongue… I’m off the case now, right?

Anyway, this guy is told he will die without surgery and Alex gives him an ass kicking when he tells him how selfish he is being. Fabulously though, he is saved by the surgeons. After he falls over and breaks his ankle. The guys hasn’t walked in 10 years. Why on Earth did these so-called ‘clever people’ let him walk with all that weight? I know why.

Because Callie wasn’t around. Tut.

Romantic Moment of the Week.

Again, this week’s romance was a little more heart-breaking that romantic.

The thing is, it could be said that this was actually quite romantic.

Yeah, so they broke up in the end, but the way in which is was done was perfect. You see, this pair didn’t break up because they came to hate each other, they broke up because they love each other so much. Sound crazy? Well, Arizona explains that she wasn’t comfortable with being the person to stop Callie having a baby, so she sacrificed her own happiness in hope that Callie will find someone who does want a baby.

With a final kiss, Arizona says she will simply see her love at work.

Bailey Moment of the Week.

Right at the start of this week’s episode, Bailey gave a speech about sensitivity skills.

This wins Bailey moment of the week because, well, it’s pretty much the only one. I’m not appreciating this lack of the best characters. (By best characters, I mean Bailey & Cristina.)

Anyway, she teaches the interns and some of the residents about sensitivity skills this weeks for the incoming fat guy. And one by one, she proceeds to kick them off the case as they make rude jokes about him. It’s hilarious anyway.

Quote of the Week.

This week actually had quite a few funny moments, but this section from Little Grey made me laugh.

Melissa: I couldn’t ignore it. After the news, I just had to call.
Lexie:The news?
Melissa: Well, we’re going to have a baby. I’m pregnant.
Lexie: How? Um. Uh. Eh. Um. I mean, wow! Congratulations! That is — that’s joyous news.

The way Chyler Leigh (Lexie) delivers this line to the patient’s wife Melissa is actually hilarious and something we’ve not seen enough of when she’s on screen. And to be honest, it’s what we were all thinking.

Overall Episode Rating: 7 out of 10.

Better than last week, especially because of the last Callie/Arizona scene and the humour, but I’ve seen better from Grey’s. Next week, we see teen star Demi Lovato playing a schizophrenic. Let’s hope it’s an episode to remember.

This episode is now renamed ‘Bent Not Broken.’ I’ve decided this because of the lovely Arizona’s speech towards the end of this episode. She delivered the line “I’m not broken” so perfectly that I immediately thought to find a song with ‘broken’ in the title. It also helps that Arizona is, well… bent. *silence* Not to be derogatory in any way, of course.

Surgery of the Week.

To be quite honest, I can’t really remember any surgery this week other than this:

Excuse the graphic quality of the above photograph.

I love that freakish stuff always happens at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Can anyone remember the guy with the bomb in his chest? Of course, nothing is simple during surgery, and cardio surgeon Teddy sneezing right on cue during a pivotal moment of holding the body cavity still in order for Owen to extract the hook. Woops.

This results in Derek nearly firing Teddy and giving her job to a more qualified surgeon. Luckily, he declines, meaning that Teddy keeps her job and leaves us keeping our fingers crossed that she and Owen will finally get together! (Again.)

Romantic Moment of the Week.

Okay, this wasn’t really romantic, but actually quite heart-breaking.

After watching Callie & Arizona bicker about having a baby throughout the entire episode, Callie tells her girlfriend that she doesn’t need a baby. Of course, she doesn’t mean it and starts to cry.

This followed by Arizona simply saying the word ‘don’t', followed by a kiss. The kiss itself was very romantic, but mostly, it was just extremely sad that Callie has given up her dream for Arizona. Again, this act seems quite romantic, but anyone who knows Callie’s romantic history will know that she is always the one who has to work in a relationship. Give her a break, Shonda!

Bailey Moment of the Week.

I’m appalled that Bailey actually got less screen time than a freakin’ newborn baby this week. But whatever.

Bailey’s top moment this week was when she told Lexie to stop letting Alex walk all over her.

Lexie realized that they had misdiagnosed the hook in side guy and that he was in fact infected. Bailey simply tells her to stop doing what Alex says because he is giving her sex and do what she has to do for her own career. Right on.

Quote of the Week.

This week, Bailey states the obvious.

You may be thinking ‘then why does she get quote of the week?’ Well…

“I’m Dr. Bailey. I know everything.”

And she so obviously does. The way Chandra Wilson says this line is actually perfect. Comedic timing and all. I gotta say that Bailey remains to be one of my favourite characters, and she has been from the very beginning.

Overall Episode Rating: 6 out of 10.

I actually enjoyed parts of this episode, but it’s general depressive nature has given me cause to give it a lower rating than the last episode. I loved all the drama with Callie & Arizona because it was perfectly acted, but the whole Mark/Sloane/baby thing is getting far too blue now. Let’s move on.

For the purposes of this ‘re-naming the episodes’ gig, I’m going to go a little softer on the rock ‘n’ roll vibe and stick with Guns ‘n’ Roses’ ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’.

Why? Because this week’s episode was all about everyone wanting babies.

Seriously. We have Callie swooning for a baby, Derek bringing up the idea of babies to Meredith, Bailey thinking about her little boy pronouncing his words correctly and even Alex’s little brother comes to town. Nice links there, Shonda.

Surgery of the Week.

Just had to go for Yang firing a bullet into a patient’s chest.

Resident army experts Teddy and Owen tell the gang that the bullets they’re dealing with are called ‘Devastators’ and Yang moves one too quickly, not knowing that this could cause one to be fired.

The patients lives, but Owen fumes. Teddy however, is more sympathetic with Cristina, telling her that they just forget sometimes that they’re all ‘civilians’. Yeah, super clever civilians who save lives.

Romantic Moment of the Week.

Uhhhhh… Romance?

Yeah let’s skip that one this week. Far too tense for any romance, aside from a few pecks between MerDer and a little tiny sexy scene between Mark and Teddy.

Bailey Moment of the Week.

Bailey becomes, just for a moment, maternal.

Now I’m not a baby person, but watching Bailey talk about how proud you can feel when a little person you created yourself, whether that creation was intentional or not, does something new, it made me a baby person.

Bailey made me a baby person. And if you know me, you know I’m pretty much like Yang: NOT A BABY PERSON. Okay, I’m going to stop putting those 2 words together now.

Quote of the Week.

After Arizona comes into the cafeteria whilst Mark & Callie are having a chat to pick up some pound cake, a little bit of hilarious dialogue comes about.

Mark: So, what exactly constitutes “pound cake?”
Callie: It’s a yellow cake. Kinda heavy.
Mark: C’mon, it’s code for something dirty. You eat her pound cake, she eats your pound cake…
Callie: No.
Mark: Oh please. Tell me it’s dirty because otherwise, that was the most boring conversation I’ve ever been a part of.
Callie: We are talking about pound cake because I want a kid and she doesn’t. And we are not talking about that.

I love the way Mark’s mind works.

Overall Episode Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Nothing overwhelmingly dramatic or significant went on this week, but it was a neat, tidy and nicely filmed episode. Bravo.

This week, we’re calling it ‘Just Another Soldier’. It was all about Owen and his army days.

Surgery of the Week.

Not a surgery, per se, but it was courageous nonetheless.

Here we saw Hunt’s friend from the army involved in a serious explosion. He begins to bleed out from the neck, but naturally, Hunt finds something to stem the flow.

Then, he saves his friend’s arm that was previously stuck under what was either a truck or just a huge hunk of metal. He did it all perfectly and without hesitation, only to realize that help isn’t coming. Help doesn’t come and Hunt is forced to removed the material from his friend’s neck.

Romantic Moment of the Week.

This week’s romance wasn’t obviously romantic, but it was when you look deeper into it.

Every bit of the Teddy/Owen action this week was pretty romantic, and it finally gave us insight into their lives pre-Seattle Grace.

From beating the others at soccer to performing rapid surgery in the field, these 2 really have a lot of romance behind them. When Teddy finally comes to help Owen, she’s too late, but the relief in her eyes tell all: Owen’s alive and that’s all that matters to her.

Aww.

Bailey Moment of the Week.

This week saw Webber trying to get with the cool kids: Mark, Callie, Arizona and Owen. However, he fails.

Quite hilariously, he sets Bailey up for a classic set of dialogue, whilst trying to be ‘cool’ during Bailey’s surgery.

Richard: If I wasn’t happily married, I’d hit her. I’d hit her hard.

Alex: Sir, I think what you wanted to say was “hit that.”

Bailey: [from behind] I don’t think you wanted to say that at all.

Ahh, Bailey. To quote Dara Nai: “Bailey is like found money. Whenever she appears, it just makes your day.”

Quote of the Week.

Seriously, is Arizona the cutest person ever?

Arizona: Oh my God, you’re breaking up with me. Mark. Is it Mark? Are you sleeping with Mark again? Are you one of those fake lesbians just having a va-va-vacation in Lesbianland?

Bless her. She even make stuttering hot. And Capshaw’s deliverance of this line is pretty much perfect.

Oh, how I love it when Arizona rambles.

Overall Episode Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

(I actually quite enjoyed the past coming to light on Teddy and Owen, but I don’t think it was enough to carry the whole episode. Plus, things are looking pretty grim for the show’s golden couple, Callie & Arizona.)

Don’t worry though, Skins has already been picked up again for 2 more seasons. Good times. With a new cast. Sad times.

Anyway…

At the beginning of the end, we see Thomas running. Not sure how this is at all relevant, but apparently it is. Next thing we know, we flash to Mrs. and Mrs. Campbell’s house, where Cook is screwing some random chick. We’ll talk about her more later.

In the next room, Emily wakes up. She rolls over, only to find that it’s not Naomi she’s lying next to. It’s Mandy. Yep, Mandy, the big ‘giant non-Naomi’ whom Naomily fans despise so much. In a hilarious moment, Emily stands up, looks at Mandy and… she sniffs her fingers. HILARE.

Round at the McClair’s house, Freddie’s (RIP) sister Karen is wondering where her brother is. Little does she know he’s been beaten to death by a weird psychiatric freak. And apparently, Katie has gone to visit Effy in hospital. Next thing we know, Pandora is bouncing towards them on a bright orange space hopper and she clambers through Effy’s window. Panda at her best, of course.

Back at Naomi’s, the home owner walks in on Emily and Mandy. Mandy is still asleep, but Naomi denies what she is seeing and tells Emily she is going to cook her breakfast and they can read Heat magazine together. Deary me… Downstairs, Cook is also in denial. He’s with his ‘friend’ Arcia, who looks a lot like Effy. Yeah, ARCIA. Naomi finds this hilarious.

Back on the top floor, Mandy kisses Emily. She pulls away, thank God. Then, Karen turns up to find Freddie, followed by Thomas. Meanwhile, Katie has hatched a plan to make Pandora jealous. She asks Thomas to give her French lessons which will make Panda come crawling back.

Inside the house, Naomi is getting trashed (yet again.) In a state of intoxication, she calls Arcia ‘Effy’ and Cook finally realizes that she is practically her doppleganger and kicks her out. Outside, Karen gives Cook a book of Freddie’s, which is filled with the words ‘I love you’ over and over again. Cook cries when he realizes that something isn’t right.

Alone with Naomi, Mandy tells her that if she doesn’t want Emily, she will gladly take her off her hands. Naomi previously thought Mandy was straight, so Mandy kisses her, to confirm her lesbianism. Naomi slaps Mandy (YES!) and she leaves. And surprise! Emily cries. Again.

Pandora overhears Thomas and Katie’s French lesson. Secretly, she understand every word. Panda took some exams without telling anyone, and this involved getting an A* in French. Katie accidentally kisses Thomas after she realizes she fancies him. However, she also knows that Thomas still loves Panda and curses herself for doing such a foolish thing.

Finally, it’s the next day. Emily tells Naomi she loves her, but Naomi is having none of it. She tells her to stop lying and that her Mum is coming home soon, so Em should probably leave.

In the next room, lying next to a snoring, farting Katie, Cook finds the words ‘John Foster wants to hurt her’ scribbled in Freddie’s book. Things start to click. However, the police turn up. Pandora runs upstairs to warn Cook and he escapes out of the bedroom window with Freddie’s book. The police break in to Naomi’s house and ransack the place.

Thomas is spotted by some random personal trainer who thinks he is a good enough runner to get him a sports scholarship at a top University.

Cook meanwhile has fled to Freddie’s shed and Effy is already there. He gives Freddie’s book to her. JJ and Pandora arrive shortly after and Panda breaks the news that she took extra A levels and will be moving to Harvard. Similarly, Naomi tells her Mum on the phone that she’s accepted a place at Goldsmith’s, but she doesn’t confirm whether or not she’ll be going.

Back at the shed, Cook, JJ and Karen take part in a Kylie Minogue dance-a-thon and Effy decides to make it a party in honour ofFreddie’s birthday and invites the rest of the gang. Naomi’s having a party for one though – she curls up naked with one of Emily’s shirts and cries.

In a moment of pure devotion to her lover, Naomi goes to Freddie’s shed. She explains to Emily why she did what she did and how she’d actually die for her. Emily forgives her and they kiss. Yay! The gang proceed to have an epic party.

Once they are alone, Thomas tells Pandora he is going to Harvard. Panda smiles and holds his hand, but she doesn’t tell Thomas that that’s where she’s going too.

Whilst taking a piss in the garden, Cook hears something rustling in the bushes. It’s John Foster. He follows him home and finds Freddie’s clothes covered in blood in his living room. Cook confronts Foster, who thinks he is ‘nothing’. Finally, Cook shouts ‘I AM COOK!’ for one last time.

And that is the end.

See you next year!

Push. Push? Ehh, another title I don’t understand.

Look at Webber, looking all happy with himself. Yep, he’s happy ’cause Shepherd chose his surgical methods over Hunt’s. Well DUH, the black man always beats the ginger. (No form of ginger racism intended there, by the way, it was just a joke relating to something Webber said in the episode!)

Surgery of the Week.

Not a surgery as such, but this week, Callie made cartilage.

I’m not sure if this is a wholly new discovery or something, but the way in which Callie reacts is pretty much like it’s something that’s never happened before.

And to be honest, making cartilage? Surely that is the work of a genius.

Romantic Moment of the Week.

Not heavy on the romance this week. So I’ll go with a moment that started out romantic and slowly declined into a time of sadness.

Callie & Arizona decide they’re the golden couple at Seattle Grace right now. Which they pretty much are, as we don’t seem to see MerDer an awful lot because of Pompeo’s real life pregnancy.

This is also followed up with the dialogue:

Arizona: You’re amazing.

Callie: We’re amazing.

I mean, that’s romantic in itself, right? Nothing like romance over some newly made cartilage…

Of course, this descends into the unhappiness when Arizona tells Callie she doesn’t want kids. And she doesn’t notice that Callie is actually devastated. Oh dear. We’ll see what happens there.

Bailey Moment of the Week.

Bailey gives in to the cute anaesthesiologist.

Yep, it seems that Bailey finally has a new love interest since her divorce.

Throughout the episode, she was determined that they would not have sex. But the end of the last scene contained some steamy kisses, which looked like they were going somewhere to me…

Quote of the Week.

Again, Bailey wins here.

She gives one of her hilarious speeches to Callie. The Bailey/Callie relationship is actually pretty funny, if you ask me.

Let me tell you a little somethin’ about my ’surgical field’, okay? I prep my surgical field with soap and water. I keep my surgical field the way God made it. I don’t need a member of the Ukrainian KGB waxing it smooth so that it can be mistaken for the surgical field of a 5 year old girl. I am a woman. And a woman is meant to have something on her surgical field. If a man can’t deal with a little somethin’ on the surgical field, a little nature, a little God, then that man has no business getting near my surgical field.

And after that monologue, Callie simply states “Fine! I’m not putting a gun to your head!”

Big lol. Points to anyone who can work out what ’surgical field’ is a euphemism for.

Overall Episode Rating: 9 out of 10. I really enjoyed this week’s episode. Way more than I enjoyed this week’s ‘Skins’ episode. Awesomesauce.

There’s no Grey’s this week (bummer!) so there’ll obviously be no recap until next week.

If you remember from Freddie’s episode, Effy ended up in a psychiatric hospital after going round the bend. Well here, we meet her scary ass counsellor, John Foster. He tells her that he thinks she’s ready to leave, but she’ll have to come back a couple of times a week for check ups.

Before she goes, Naomi comes to visit. Apparently, she’s there to see what a crazy person looks like. She confides in Effy and tells her about how confused she is about the whole Naomi/Emily thing. Yeah, so are we.

Anyway, Effy goes home to an extremely empty room: her Mother has put everything in her wardrobe except for a toy giraffe. She’s also put up a whiteboard on the wall, so Effy can plan each day out carefully. First, she goes to visit Freddie. Who, last time we checked, was her boyfriend. Effy tells him she loves him, but quickly after, she rushes off to stick to her schedule.

After her sleep, Effy wakes up to a phone call from Pandora, who is excited to be meeting her to find out her A Level results. Ofcourse, Effy didn’t take hers and Panda only took philosophy. Mr. Blood quickly calls Effy into his office, to explain to her that she can not re-take her exams and that if anyone asks, she got 3 A grades in her exams. College funding, you see.

Effy arrives later at the A level celebration party where all her friends are. Naomi obviously gets the highest (AAA), JJ second (AAB), the twins Katie (BCC) and Emily (BBC) and Freddie gets an average ACC. Pandora got a C in philosophy, bless her. Effy tells the rest of the group that it’s just ‘numbers on a page’. Funny, because last time I checked, A, B and C were letters, not numbers.

Anyhow, Effy explains that she’s ‘finished’. She dumps Freddie and walks off into the pouring rain. Katie pipes up, frankly to take the piss out of Freddie, and says “She dumped you again.”

Outside, Effy bumps into Cook. He tells her that he still loves her (aww) but she tells him to piss off (bitch).

She leaves and heads off home. She cuddles up with her giraffe and erases Freddie from her whiteboard schedule. The next day, Freddie turns up at Effy’s house and kisses her. She dislikes it and is annoyed that he hasn’t taken the hint. He leaves and Effy’s Mum Angela helps her burn all the bad memories from her life outside in the garden.

Later, Effy goes to the park. She sits on a bench, only to be accompanied by escaped convict, Cook. She tells him that she’s not Effy, that she’s Elizabeth, and he tells her that he is James. They go out dancing and ‘get to know each other’ again. But eventually, Effy goes crazy and remembers her brother Tony being hit by a bus.

Effy (or Elizabeth, whatever) stands in the middle of a busy motorway and cars fly towards her. Cook dives in front of Effy, pulling her to the side of the road. Cook kisses her as they lie in the grass, which shocks her back to reality. She requests that Cook takes her to Freddie.

Being the lovely boy he is, Cook grants Effy’s wishes. Next minute, Effy is back in the hospital. She explains to Freddie that she didn’t mean what she said and that she loves him. Make your mind up, crazy woman!

Freddie heads to John Foster’s (the psychiatrist) house. He tells John to stay away from Effy and that he has done her no good.

John doesn’t take to this too kindly and approaches Freddie with a baseball bat. “I can’t let you have her,” John says.

In a chilling climax, Freddie’s cries are head behind an opaque glass wall as his blood splatters all over it. Is that the end for Freddie?

Next Week: It’s the finale! That’s right, it’s the last time you’re going to see this cast. Apparently, half of the episode takes place in Naomi’s house, but will she and Emily get the ending they deserve? (I’ve already seen the clip, of course.)

Perfect Little Accident. Yep, that’s exactly what Webber’s surgery is. I won’t ruin it for you, but it does involve *GASP!* Harper-Avery.

It also involved Arizona and Teddy becoming best buds all of a sudden.

Cute.

Surgery of the Week.

Okay, I can’t hold it in any longer. Let’s discuss Webber and his Harper-Avery surgery.

That’s right, despite Richard requesting as little pressure as possible on his first day back, he ends up doing the surgery that could earn him the Harper-Avery award. What’s worse: Avery wants to be awake during the surgery.

Surprisingly, this fact saves the day: after Avery insists that Webber use special sutures on his wound, he has an allergic reaction. Of course, during the surgery, Webber had no idea that he was allergic to the stitches, and there is great panic when he thinks he’s messed up his first day. Hence the ‘perfect little accident’. If it were not for Avery’s allergy, Webber would have hit the ultimate rock bottom.

Romantic Moment of the Week.

Pretty much the steamiest couple right now on Grey’s?

Come on, look at them! Making out just before a trauma case is going to hit.

Obviously their smooching is cut short because of imminent death, but it’s sexy while it lasts.

Bailey Moment of the Week.

There is no contest for the best Bailey moment this week.

The picture says it all.

This week, Callie & Arizona took it upon themselves to organize a ‘girl’s night’. Okay, I’m guessing it was pretty much Arizona who organized it. Anyway, they ended up going to play baseball and Bailey took a swing. And she hit it. Much to the surprise of all the other girls, but nevertheless, it was a golden Bailey moment.

Quote of the Week.

Quotes. Quotes. Quotes. Nothing’s jumping out at me, so it looks like I’m going to have to think about this one a lot.

Ah, perfect.

“Oh no. Because you slept with my girlfriend and when I look at you, I want to hit you with a brick.”

Yep, that’s Arizona’s response to Karev’s request to get in on a surgery. And rightly so! It is hilarious anyway.

Especially ’cause she says it with that sugary-sweet, dimpled smile of hers. YUM.

Overall Episode Rating: 7 out of 10. Lacked the drama of Grey’s this week, but it was still pretty cute.

And from what we see in episode 6, he’s a beast in the sack. But we’ll get onto that shortly…

At the beginning of his episode, JJ looks like he’s got a new job; he and Thomas are working in a sweet factory. Could there be a better job? Anyway, there’s this girl called Lara. JJ fancies her likes crazy and Thomas thinks she’s a little dishy too. Of course, JJ being JJ, he’s too scared to do anything about his little crush.

Thomas, in a bid to get JJ to ask Lara out, races to the office upstairs, claiming that if JJ doesn’t ask her out right now, Thomas will. JJ not knowing what else to do grabs the store announcer microphone, saying “Would you like to go out with me tonight?” as quickly as he can. Unexpectedly, Lara says yes. And in JJ’s words: Operation Lara is go.

Back at his house, JJ has a visitor. At first, he thinks it’s just Freddie with a huge bagful of homework, but when JJ’s Mother is out of earshot, he reveals that it’s actually Cook in the bag. JJ is shocked and faints at the sight of his prisoner friend.

Cook, not having had a shower in days, does so immediately. And right in front of JJ. JJ explains his worries over tonight’s dinner with Lara, and Cook being the Casanova (he thinks) he is gives him 3 tips: be cool, touch her and look at her pupils.

Breaking the ‘be cool’ rule straight away, JJ is 2 hours early for his date. Lara, dressed only in her dressing gown, invites him inside to ’show him something’. It’s not what you expect because… Lara has a baby! Yeah, you all thought she was making sexual advances, but it turns out she popped a baby out some time again. JJ is shocked (again), but shows little Albert some magic tricks while Lara gets ready.

Then, Lara’s ex-boyfriend – and also Albert’s Daddy – bursts through the front door. He threatens JJ, telling him that if he touches Lara or Albert, he will break him. Lara finishes getting ready, and they go out to the pub.

JJ is far too nervous (Cook’s rules just aren’t working for him!) and manages to spit in Lara’s face after inadvertently drinking Lara’s vodka and coke. While they are there, he also bumps into Emily who is with her ‘friend’ Mandy. JJ smells something fishy… But in a desperate attempt to not make the night any more worse, he heads to the bathroom. To sneak out of the window, obviously.

Of course, things only get worse for our resident geek. Lara walks through the door and catches JJ making his escape. He’s also in the ladies toilets. Woops.

Lara leaves in anger. JJ heads home, but on the way, he sees Lara sat on a bench outside thinking to herself. He sits down next to her and tells her that he really likes her. She explains that she thinks she’d like him too – if he didn’t try so hard. JJ starts to loosen up and they kiss. A lot.

Going against the words of Lara’s ex, Liam, JJ proceeds to have lots and lots of sex with Lara in her house. (Props should go to Ollie Barbieri for this scene by the way. It was perfect.)

The next day, JJ and his Mother visit the psychologist. Although JJ explains to his Mum that he has a girlfriend, she doesn’t believe him. His Doctor goes on to tell JJ that he doesn’t think he should ‘over-stimulate himself’ with a girl. Annoyed that no-one will believe in him, JJ lashes out after storming out of the hospital. And who should be there but Liam?

Liam sees the whole thing as JJ lashes out, pulling up plants from the outside of the clinic. He tells JJ that he’s going to tell Lara that he’s a psycho.

JJ tells Lara that he wants her to meet some of his friends, so what better place to take them than the ‘house of fun’? Whose house is that, you ask? Well, Naomi and Emily’s, of course. But any regular Skins fan will know that this couple are far from happy. The atmosphere is intense, and Naomily don’t know how to react around the baby.

Emily beckons JJ to go upstairs with her after he nearly blurts out that he saw Emily with Mandy in the pub the day before. Emily, trying to be a good friend, tells him that she thinks that Lara is using him because she has a child. JJ tells her that he trusts Lara, and that Emily should start to think about trust herself and it wouldn’t make anything better if she was cheating on Naomi. JJ leaves (yep, he’s grown a pair of balls) and Emily bawls her eyes out as she realizes yet again that her relationship is a mess.

JJ & Lara move on to visit his parents. They are shocked to see that she has a baby, and JJ’s Mother accidentally calls her a slut. Slip of the tongue, I guess. Lara says that she needs the bathroom, but when she realizes that it’s locked, she calls JJ.

Suddenly, JJ remembers something: Cook is hiding upstairs. JJ urges his Mother and Lara that they don’t need to go in the bathroom. After he freaks out, Lara leaves. JJ tells Cook to open the door and his Mum tells him he has to leave. Cook consoles JJ before leaving though, and explains he’ll have to go to Naomi’s because he’s running out of places to hide.

The next day, JJ goes to work to apologize to Lara, but meets Liam first. He lashes out on Liam, punching him in the face, and Lara sees the whole thing. She ends it on the intercom before things got any worse.

JJ returns home and gets a lovely talking to by his Father. He tells JJ that he liked the fact that he was clever and different from the other kids. JJ gets a sudden confidence boost and comes up with a new way of getting Lara back. While out walking, JJ also meets Liam, who has realized that JJ doesn’t want to be Albert’s new Dad and gives them his blessing.

While Lara is asleep, JJ throws his shoe at her bedroom window. She comes to the window, in a cheesy teen flick way, and there’s JJ out in the cold. Not alone though. JJ is with a band of ukulele players, complete with a ukulele himself, and a large banner that reads ‘Sorry for being a knob jockey.’

After serenading Lara with a sterling uke version of ‘True’ by Spandau Ballet, Lara runs downstairs and kisses him. Again, in a cheesy teen flick kinda way.

Next Week: It’s the second to last episode and we’re back to crazy Effy. But what’s to become of her? And does anyone wish there was more Pandora and Katie in this series?