Don’t worry though, Skins has already been picked up again for 2 more seasons. Good times. With a new cast. Sad times.

Anyway…

At the beginning of the end, we see Thomas running. Not sure how this is at all relevant, but apparently it is. Next thing we know, we flash to Mrs. and Mrs. Campbell’s house, where Cook is screwing some random chick. We’ll talk about her more later.

In the next room, Emily wakes up. She rolls over, only to find that it’s not Naomi she’s lying next to. It’s Mandy. Yep, Mandy, the big ‘giant non-Naomi’ whom Naomily fans despise so much. In a hilarious moment, Emily stands up, looks at Mandy and… she sniffs her fingers. HILARE.

Round at the McClair’s house, Freddie’s (RIP) sister Karen is wondering where her brother is. Little does she know he’s been beaten to death by a weird psychiatric freak. And apparently, Katie has gone to visit Effy in hospital. Next thing we know, Pandora is bouncing towards them on a bright orange space hopper and she clambers through Effy’s window. Panda at her best, of course.

Back at Naomi’s, the home owner walks in on Emily and Mandy. Mandy is still asleep, but Naomi denies what she is seeing and tells Emily she is going to cook her breakfast and they can read Heat magazine together. Deary me… Downstairs, Cook is also in denial. He’s with his ‘friend’ Arcia, who looks a lot like Effy. Yeah, ARCIA. Naomi finds this hilarious.

Back on the top floor, Mandy kisses Emily. She pulls away, thank God. Then, Karen turns up to find Freddie, followed by Thomas. Meanwhile, Katie has hatched a plan to make Pandora jealous. She asks Thomas to give her French lessons which will make Panda come crawling back.

Inside the house, Naomi is getting trashed (yet again.) In a state of intoxication, she calls Arcia ‘Effy’ and Cook finally realizes that she is practically her doppleganger and kicks her out. Outside, Karen gives Cook a book of Freddie’s, which is filled with the words ‘I love you’ over and over again. Cook cries when he realizes that something isn’t right.

Alone with Naomi, Mandy tells her that if she doesn’t want Emily, she will gladly take her off her hands. Naomi previously thought Mandy was straight, so Mandy kisses her, to confirm her lesbianism. Naomi slaps Mandy (YES!) and she leaves. And surprise! Emily cries. Again.

Pandora overhears Thomas and Katie’s French lesson. Secretly, she understand every word. Panda took some exams without telling anyone, and this involved getting an A* in French. Katie accidentally kisses Thomas after she realizes she fancies him. However, she also knows that Thomas still loves Panda and curses herself for doing such a foolish thing.

Finally, it’s the next day. Emily tells Naomi she loves her, but Naomi is having none of it. She tells her to stop lying and that her Mum is coming home soon, so Em should probably leave.

In the next room, lying next to a snoring, farting Katie, Cook finds the words ‘John Foster wants to hurt her’ scribbled in Freddie’s book. Things start to click. However, the police turn up. Pandora runs upstairs to warn Cook and he escapes out of the bedroom window with Freddie’s book. The police break in to Naomi’s house and ransack the place.

Thomas is spotted by some random personal trainer who thinks he is a good enough runner to get him a sports scholarship at a top University.

Cook meanwhile has fled to Freddie’s shed and Effy is already there. He gives Freddie’s book to her. JJ and Pandora arrive shortly after and Panda breaks the news that she took extra A levels and will be moving to Harvard. Similarly, Naomi tells her Mum on the phone that she’s accepted a place at Goldsmith’s, but she doesn’t confirm whether or not she’ll be going.

Back at the shed, Cook, JJ and Karen take part in a Kylie Minogue dance-a-thon and Effy decides to make it a party in honour ofFreddie’s birthday and invites the rest of the gang. Naomi’s having a party for one though – she curls up naked with one of Emily’s shirts and cries.

In a moment of pure devotion to her lover, Naomi goes to Freddie’s shed. She explains to Emily why she did what she did and how she’d actually die for her. Emily forgives her and they kiss. Yay! The gang proceed to have an epic party.

Once they are alone, Thomas tells Pandora he is going to Harvard. Panda smiles and holds his hand, but she doesn’t tell Thomas that that’s where she’s going too.

Whilst taking a piss in the garden, Cook hears something rustling in the bushes. It’s John Foster. He follows him home and finds Freddie’s clothes covered in blood in his living room. Cook confronts Foster, who thinks he is ‘nothing’. Finally, Cook shouts ‘I AM COOK!’ for one last time.

And that is the end.

See you next year!

If you remember from Freddie’s episode, Effy ended up in a psychiatric hospital after going round the bend. Well here, we meet her scary ass counsellor, John Foster. He tells her that he thinks she’s ready to leave, but she’ll have to come back a couple of times a week for check ups.

Before she goes, Naomi comes to visit. Apparently, she’s there to see what a crazy person looks like. She confides in Effy and tells her about how confused she is about the whole Naomi/Emily thing. Yeah, so are we.

Anyway, Effy goes home to an extremely empty room: her Mother has put everything in her wardrobe except for a toy giraffe. She’s also put up a whiteboard on the wall, so Effy can plan each day out carefully. First, she goes to visit Freddie. Who, last time we checked, was her boyfriend. Effy tells him she loves him, but quickly after, she rushes off to stick to her schedule.

After her sleep, Effy wakes up to a phone call from Pandora, who is excited to be meeting her to find out her A Level results. Ofcourse, Effy didn’t take hers and Panda only took philosophy. Mr. Blood quickly calls Effy into his office, to explain to her that she can not re-take her exams and that if anyone asks, she got 3 A grades in her exams. College funding, you see.

Effy arrives later at the A level celebration party where all her friends are. Naomi obviously gets the highest (AAA), JJ second (AAB), the twins Katie (BCC) and Emily (BBC) and Freddie gets an average ACC. Pandora got a C in philosophy, bless her. Effy tells the rest of the group that it’s just ‘numbers on a page’. Funny, because last time I checked, A, B and C were letters, not numbers.

Anyhow, Effy explains that she’s ‘finished’. She dumps Freddie and walks off into the pouring rain. Katie pipes up, frankly to take the piss out of Freddie, and says “She dumped you again.”

Outside, Effy bumps into Cook. He tells her that he still loves her (aww) but she tells him to piss off (bitch).

She leaves and heads off home. She cuddles up with her giraffe and erases Freddie from her whiteboard schedule. The next day, Freddie turns up at Effy’s house and kisses her. She dislikes it and is annoyed that he hasn’t taken the hint. He leaves and Effy’s Mum Angela helps her burn all the bad memories from her life outside in the garden.

Later, Effy goes to the park. She sits on a bench, only to be accompanied by escaped convict, Cook. She tells him that she’s not Effy, that she’s Elizabeth, and he tells her that he is James. They go out dancing and ‘get to know each other’ again. But eventually, Effy goes crazy and remembers her brother Tony being hit by a bus.

Effy (or Elizabeth, whatever) stands in the middle of a busy motorway and cars fly towards her. Cook dives in front of Effy, pulling her to the side of the road. Cook kisses her as they lie in the grass, which shocks her back to reality. She requests that Cook takes her to Freddie.

Being the lovely boy he is, Cook grants Effy’s wishes. Next minute, Effy is back in the hospital. She explains to Freddie that she didn’t mean what she said and that she loves him. Make your mind up, crazy woman!

Freddie heads to John Foster’s (the psychiatrist) house. He tells John to stay away from Effy and that he has done her no good.

John doesn’t take to this too kindly and approaches Freddie with a baseball bat. “I can’t let you have her,” John says.

In a chilling climax, Freddie’s cries are head behind an opaque glass wall as his blood splatters all over it. Is that the end for Freddie?

Next Week: It’s the finale! That’s right, it’s the last time you’re going to see this cast. Apparently, half of the episode takes place in Naomi’s house, but will she and Emily get the ending they deserve? (I’ve already seen the clip, of course.)

And from what we see in episode 6, he’s a beast in the sack. But we’ll get onto that shortly…

At the beginning of his episode, JJ looks like he’s got a new job; he and Thomas are working in a sweet factory. Could there be a better job? Anyway, there’s this girl called Lara. JJ fancies her likes crazy and Thomas thinks she’s a little dishy too. Of course, JJ being JJ, he’s too scared to do anything about his little crush.

Thomas, in a bid to get JJ to ask Lara out, races to the office upstairs, claiming that if JJ doesn’t ask her out right now, Thomas will. JJ not knowing what else to do grabs the store announcer microphone, saying “Would you like to go out with me tonight?” as quickly as he can. Unexpectedly, Lara says yes. And in JJ’s words: Operation Lara is go.

Back at his house, JJ has a visitor. At first, he thinks it’s just Freddie with a huge bagful of homework, but when JJ’s Mother is out of earshot, he reveals that it’s actually Cook in the bag. JJ is shocked and faints at the sight of his prisoner friend.

Cook, not having had a shower in days, does so immediately. And right in front of JJ. JJ explains his worries over tonight’s dinner with Lara, and Cook being the Casanova (he thinks) he is gives him 3 tips: be cool, touch her and look at her pupils.

Breaking the ‘be cool’ rule straight away, JJ is 2 hours early for his date. Lara, dressed only in her dressing gown, invites him inside to ’show him something’. It’s not what you expect because… Lara has a baby! Yeah, you all thought she was making sexual advances, but it turns out she popped a baby out some time again. JJ is shocked (again), but shows little Albert some magic tricks while Lara gets ready.

Then, Lara’s ex-boyfriend – and also Albert’s Daddy – bursts through the front door. He threatens JJ, telling him that if he touches Lara or Albert, he will break him. Lara finishes getting ready, and they go out to the pub.

JJ is far too nervous (Cook’s rules just aren’t working for him!) and manages to spit in Lara’s face after inadvertently drinking Lara’s vodka and coke. While they are there, he also bumps into Emily who is with her ‘friend’ Mandy. JJ smells something fishy… But in a desperate attempt to not make the night any more worse, he heads to the bathroom. To sneak out of the window, obviously.

Of course, things only get worse for our resident geek. Lara walks through the door and catches JJ making his escape. He’s also in the ladies toilets. Woops.

Lara leaves in anger. JJ heads home, but on the way, he sees Lara sat on a bench outside thinking to herself. He sits down next to her and tells her that he really likes her. She explains that she thinks she’d like him too – if he didn’t try so hard. JJ starts to loosen up and they kiss. A lot.

Going against the words of Lara’s ex, Liam, JJ proceeds to have lots and lots of sex with Lara in her house. (Props should go to Ollie Barbieri for this scene by the way. It was perfect.)

The next day, JJ and his Mother visit the psychologist. Although JJ explains to his Mum that he has a girlfriend, she doesn’t believe him. His Doctor goes on to tell JJ that he doesn’t think he should ‘over-stimulate himself’ with a girl. Annoyed that no-one will believe in him, JJ lashes out after storming out of the hospital. And who should be there but Liam?

Liam sees the whole thing as JJ lashes out, pulling up plants from the outside of the clinic. He tells JJ that he’s going to tell Lara that he’s a psycho.

JJ tells Lara that he wants her to meet some of his friends, so what better place to take them than the ‘house of fun’? Whose house is that, you ask? Well, Naomi and Emily’s, of course. But any regular Skins fan will know that this couple are far from happy. The atmosphere is intense, and Naomily don’t know how to react around the baby.

Emily beckons JJ to go upstairs with her after he nearly blurts out that he saw Emily with Mandy in the pub the day before. Emily, trying to be a good friend, tells him that she thinks that Lara is using him because she has a child. JJ tells her that he trusts Lara, and that Emily should start to think about trust herself and it wouldn’t make anything better if she was cheating on Naomi. JJ leaves (yep, he’s grown a pair of balls) and Emily bawls her eyes out as she realizes yet again that her relationship is a mess.

JJ & Lara move on to visit his parents. They are shocked to see that she has a baby, and JJ’s Mother accidentally calls her a slut. Slip of the tongue, I guess. Lara says that she needs the bathroom, but when she realizes that it’s locked, she calls JJ.

Suddenly, JJ remembers something: Cook is hiding upstairs. JJ urges his Mother and Lara that they don’t need to go in the bathroom. After he freaks out, Lara leaves. JJ tells Cook to open the door and his Mum tells him he has to leave. Cook consoles JJ before leaving though, and explains he’ll have to go to Naomi’s because he’s running out of places to hide.

The next day, JJ goes to work to apologize to Lara, but meets Liam first. He lashes out on Liam, punching him in the face, and Lara sees the whole thing. She ends it on the intercom before things got any worse.

JJ returns home and gets a lovely talking to by his Father. He tells JJ that he liked the fact that he was clever and different from the other kids. JJ gets a sudden confidence boost and comes up with a new way of getting Lara back. While out walking, JJ also meets Liam, who has realized that JJ doesn’t want to be Albert’s new Dad and gives them his blessing.

While Lara is asleep, JJ throws his shoe at her bedroom window. She comes to the window, in a cheesy teen flick way, and there’s JJ out in the cold. Not alone though. JJ is with a band of ukulele players, complete with a ukulele himself, and a large banner that reads ‘Sorry for being a knob jockey.’

After serenading Lara with a sterling uke version of ‘True’ by Spandau Ballet, Lara runs downstairs and kisses him. Again, in a cheesy teen flick kinda way.

Next Week: It’s the second to last episode and we’re back to crazy Effy. But what’s to become of her? And does anyone wish there was more Pandora and Katie in this series?

I found this odd, because he’s usually a bit dull… Okay, he’s a LOT dull. (Excuse my poor grammar.)

At the very opening, we see Freddie and Effy creating a homemade bong in the kitchen of Effy’s house. Everything seems fine and dandy and the next morning, Freddie goes home and is bombarded by sister Karen who just wants to ‘cut his fucking hair!’ (Because she’s a training beautician, not because she’s gone all psycho on him.)

Freddie proceeds to college, where Mr. Love (played by Will Young) orders that he gets his history coursework handed in by Monday or he will be expelled. Just as Cook and Thomas already have been. Are we noticing a pattern here? If you’re an American, or indeed simply not British, you won’t understand the subtle references to Will Young’s real life, but for anyone who has heard Young’s music, you will find this scene deeply entertaining.

Heading back to the love nest, Freddie finds Effy sat on her Mother’s bed cutting up newspapers of death and destruction. She keeps preaching to him that ‘the end is nigh’ and Freddie realizes he has no idea what she’s taken.

While Effy sleeps, Freddie decides to make an effort at pleasing Mr. Love and attempts to make a start on his coursework. He soons realizes that mixing cannabis and crack with coursework does not work and gives up easily.

Effy desperately explains to Freddie that she ‘can’t stand the love’ and she pushes him away.

The next day, Freddie goes to the school counsellor for advice. However, it turns out that Josie isn’t in today and in her place is Mr. Love. Oh, the joy. Freddie confides in him nonetheless, but Love explains that he doesn’t know what to suggest in this case.

In an act of desperation, Freddie runs to  the only other person he thinks can help: his Grandad. It is revealed that Freddie’s Mother committed suicide in similar circumstances to Effy and he doesn’t want to be blamed if Effy kills herself. His Grandad says, rather wisely, ‘do what you can’.

Back at Effy’s house, she’s throwing a house party. Pandora plays it hot and cold with Thomas – she slaps him, kisses him and then leaves. Katie and JJ look on in confusion and Freddie walks through the door even more confused. He goes on the hunt for Effy and finds her lying on the floor by her bed. She tells him she’s convinced that something bad is going to happen and that she doesn’t want anyone in her house anymore. Freddie reassures her that he is not going anywhere, but he will get rid of everyone else for her.

There is one person he was not betting on seeing, however. When he strolls into the kitchen, who should be there but our favourite convict Cook?  He tells Freddie that he’s escaped from prison, but when he sees Effy, he knows something’s wrong. Effy screams at him to get out of her house, so Freddie tells him to go sleep in their shed.

Freddie goes home and tells Cook that everything is fine, but Cook isn’t convinced. When he enters the house, Freddie takes it out on his Father and blames him for his Mother’s death. Ouch.

Seeing that she is in a state, Freddie lovingly gives Effy a bath. Funny, that – last series, her Mother had to bathe her. She really is a fuck up.

Nevertheless, Freddie attempts to cheer her up by taking her out for some fresh air. It’s only a matter of time before Effy begins to trip out and they have to cycle home. Before they can get in however, they see Effy’s Mum Anthea outside talking to a policewoman, so Freddie turns round in panic.

Unbeknown to him, there’s a street carnival going off nextdoor and Freddie cycles Effy right into the middle of it.

They get caught up and Freddie and Effy lose each other. Symbolism, maybe? Effy looks up and sees Katie dressed as an angel for the carnival. Seems that she is her fairy-Godmother, as Katie reunites Freffy as quickly as she can.

Not knowing what else to do, Freddie and Katie take Effy to his Grandad’s. Freddie tells him that he won’t let another person he loves kill themselves. Things take another turn for the worst when Katie runs in, claiming that Effy won’t come out of the bathroom. Freddie kicks the door down and finds a collapsed Effy on the floor: she has slit her wrists in desperation.

It turns out that Effy is okay, but they are all shaken when they see her in hospital. As Freddie sits by her bedside, she wakes up. Rather than saying thankyou for saving her, she tells him to get out. Freddie weeps and leaves as quickly as he can – he can’t take it anymore.

He goes home, ripping down the death collage that Effy created before. Starting a bonfire in the garden, Freddie burns all of the paper from the collage and begins to burn his own hand.

Fairy-Godmother number 2 comes to his rescue: Cookie. He tells Freddie that he can’t do this to himself and to stop thinking about the future. “Fuck the future” are his exact words, and he tells him that there’s only today. Freddie cries like a baby after all the crap he’s just had to endure and Cook holds him like a true friend, explaining that it’ll all be okay.

How very dramatic.

Next Week: JJ. It seems that he (finally) gets a girl! But is it too good to be true? Does she really like JJ, or is she with him for some other reason?

Well this time, it’s a different story. Katie has her own episode, and boy does she have a lot to take on.

At the beginning, we get a glimpse of Katie at her best – dressed up to the nines, face caked in make up wearing her best pearls. Turns out, Katie is getting ready for work at her Mother’s bridal service ‘Let’s Get Fitched’. Geddit?

We follow the pair to work and see that we have a footballer’s wife wedding on our hands. She reminds Katie that she wants to see her at the hen party, with the ever classy theme ’sluts and studs’.

Katie goes on to visit the Doctors to see what’s wrong with her periods. The Doctor tells her that she isn’t pregnant, but rather that she is undergoing ‘premature menopause’. She fails to see the bad side of this at first, but when she is informed that she’ll never have children, Katie is clearly distraught.

She leaves the surgery, telling her boyfriend that he can ‘pretty much fuck off now’. Yep, that’s right, she dumped him. You can do better elsewhere, love.

On her return home, her Mother Jenna has discovered that Katie’s Dad has been hiding bills for months and that the Fitch family have no money whatsoever. Jenna loses it and starts a shout-fest, leaving Katie to console her little brother.

In an attempt to make her day a little bit better, Katie dresses up in her best slut-wear for the hen party. However, her plans don’t go… well, to plan. The WAGs have changed the theme to ‘footballer’s wives’ without informing Katie. Whatever, she still looks hot.

Things get even worse when she sees Effy and Freddie at the party. One of the bitches from the party humiliates Katie. Join me when I say ‘OH NO SHE DIDN’T!’ Katie storms onto the dancefloor like a true Fitch, gives the bitch a massive smack in the face and gives her a nose bleed. This obviously results in Katie getting sacked from the wedding planning job, and she leaves.

Effy spots Katie outside near the lake. The pair talk about love and Effy explains that it’s not as great as she thought it would be.

The next morning Katie goes back home, greeted only by the bailiffs – the Fitch family are homeless. Mr. Fitch holds the men off for a while so that the others can grab a few of their belongings. In true comedy style, they run for the car with their stuff, right behind the bailiffs’ backs.

So that’s it, the Fitch clan have nothing. Or do they?

In a desperate state, Katie asks Naomi if she and her family can move in for a while. Naomi is obviously a bit hesitant at first, but she caves in when she realizes that Emily is a Fitch and it is therefore her problem too.

Katie attempts at telling her Mother about her menopause, but she falls asleep. Great Mother, eh? When she wakes, Katie finds Naomi and Emily arguing in the kitchen. Apparently Emily is annoyed that Naomi didn’t even ask her before welcoming her family into her home and Emily kisses Naomi in front of her Mother just to spite her.

In the back garden, there’s a huge drug-fest of a barbecue going down. Emily kisses a random girl at the party, and Naomi looks on distraught, but feeling like she deserves it. Katie begs Emily to stop, but Emily is out of control. She pushes Naomi into the paddling pool and Naomi cries instantly, claiming that the whole situation is a ‘fucking pantomime’.

Jenna catches the whole thing and insists that someone tells her what is going on. Naomi nobly takes the complete blame, telling everyone there that she slept with the dead girl, gave her the drugs and that she has fucked Emily’s life up. Jenna gives us the famous ‘I told you so!’ Understandably, Emily lashes out, telling her Mother to stop playing ‘happy families’.

In another attempt to get some calm, Katie takes a bath. Exhausted, she falls asleep again, as Thomas goes to the toilet unaware that Katie is naked. To make things even more awkward, Thomas has locked himself in, so Katie tries to make things less weird. Thomastells her that she should always be herself, and Katie kisses him. She finally blurts out to someone that she can’t have children. He is glad she confided in him and they decide they would be better off as friends.

Katie walks around the house, making her final stop Emily’s room. She notices her sister crying on her bed and holds her. She understands.

The whole family, including Emily, go back to their old house to collect Jenna. Katie goes in on her own first and tells her straight away that she can’t have children. Katie cries to her Mum, explaining that she’s tried to tell her before but she wasn’t there for her. Jenna realizes the error of her ways and Katie forces her to begin appreciating her family more.

The rest of the family come in, and the Fitch parents make up in no time. They endure in a three minute snog as the children begin eating their boxes of pizza on the floor of the empty house. Their parents join them and they live happily ever after… right?

Next Week: It’s Freddie. Usually boring, but the teasers for next week look pretty good. Fingers crossed!

For those of you who don’t know Cook, you’re missing out.

Possibly the best character of the 2nd generation of Skins, and this episode was dedicated entirely to him.

At the start of the episode, we see him in a prison cell after attacking a randomer at the party from last week. After repeatedly being told to plead guilty, he does the complete opposite in true Cookie fashion and pleads not guilty. (Even though we all know, and the judge knows, that he did it.) As a result of his plea, he is fitted with an electronic tag, which means he has to stay home between 7pm and 7am.

Of course, Cook doesn’t have a house. So where will he stay? The policewoman says that he will be staying at his Mother’s house. After initially being annoyed by this – he and his Mother don’t have the best of relationships – he finds out that his Mother is in fact a successful artist and is pretty much minted. (This means ‘ridiculously rich’, if you’re not from the UK and were wondering.)

The next day, Cook takes his little brother Paddy to school. A private school, obviously. Paddy tells his big bro that some of the boys there are bullying him, and Cook scares them into not doing it again.

After safely seeing his brother off to school, Cook returns to Roundview, where we also see the rest of the gang. He asks all of them (except for Freddie and Effy, obviously) if they want to skip college and come out for a drink. JJ is still annoyed about the fact that Cook hit him and Pandora is on JJ’s side. Naomi and Emily obviously have troubles of their own to deal with, so they decline Cook’s offer too.

As if on cue, the poncy arsehole that is Professor Blood comes out of nowhere and explains to Cookie that he has been expelled. Spraying pepper spray in his eyes, Blood calls security to remove him from the building.

On his way out, Cook sees a small remembrance area for the dead girl, Sophia. Is that a hint of apology I see in Cook’s eyes?

Desperate to talk to someone, he visits Naomi’s house, where he meets her as she takes out her rubbish. Naomi tells Cook about the affair she had with Sophia and how shit she now feels. She also explains to Cook that they can talk about Sophia; that she killed herself and they didn’t kill her. Cook denies feeling guilty and staggers away, as Naomi shouts ‘DEAL WITH IT!’

Cook re-visits his lawyer, who basically tells him to grow up. Cook tells Duncan that he’s shit, and storms off like a child. Maybe he does need to grow up a bit…

Bored, Cook visits his Mother at her art gallery. After seeing Freddie’s name on his Mother’s artwork (which is titled: ‘ALL MY COCKS’) Cook asks her if it’s true. She replies ‘Jimmy, art is always true.’ Fair enough. On his way out, Cook trips on the cable for one of his Mum’s pieces, which destroys it and apparently loses her £90,000. She insists that he did it on purpose and Cook proceeds to leave the gallery, vomitting once he is outside. But did he vomit because of the artwork he just ruined? Or is Cookie facing the physical effects of guilt?

Panicking, Cook goes to Shanky’s house (the guy who he hit.) He tries to tell him that he is sorry for what he did, and if he could put in a good word for him in the court. Apparently this was the wrong this to say – Shanky is having none of it and tells him he hopes he gets ‘fucked up the arse in the shower’. Pleasant.

Returning home, Cook is surprised to see Freddie there. His Mother is obviously pissed, and she passes out on the floor.

The pair go upstairs, where Freddie admits that Cook’s Mum gave him a blow job on his 15th birthday. Cook admits in return that he let Freddie have the only girl he ever loved. He gets extremely angry, and Freddie can’t do anything but say sorry. Cook understands that sorry really is the hardest word sometimes. (Props to Elton John for that lyric!) Freddie tells Cook that he and JJ really do love him and all he needs to do is stop.

After Freddie leaves, Cook’s little brother returns home after being escorted by the police. Apparently, Paddy wanted nothing more than to be like his big brother and did a bunch of things that Cook would do. One of these things being that he stole bras from Marks and Spencers. Their Mother flips and Cook steals her Rolls Royce, taking his brother with him.

After teaching Paddy to drive recklessly, Cook smashes up the car and gives his brother a bit of weed. However, Cook sees that he has had an impact on his brother, which freaks him out a bit. So they head over to Naomi’s.

They let Little Cook sleep on the sofa and Cook and Naomi go outside to talk about things. After Naomi tells Cook about how much she admires him because he just lives in the moment, they kiss. Naomily fans need not panic – the kiss is short-lived. They stop kissing and Cook exclaims, cheekily “Jesus, I’m never gonna get to bone you, am I?” Naomi replies “Nope, I love someone.” At which Cook can only say “you and me both, girl.” Aww.

Cook goes back to his lawyer and begins to tell all. Duncan tells his to grow up. Again. And Cook realizes what he needs to do.

Turning over a new leaf, sort of, Cook lies to the police and tells them that he sold the MDMA to Sophia, sparing Naomi from getting the blame. Effy visits him in prison to explain that she loves Freddie. Cook takes it surprisingly well and she leaves.

The last time we see him, Cook has pleaded guilty in court. Effy, Freddie and JJ are there waiting for him. Effy catches Cook’s eye and she nods. I’m guessing this means she understands what’s been said.

Cook is in prison. Let’s hope not for long, because he’s turning out to be one of the most multi-dimensional characters out of the lot.

Next week: It’s Katie’s episode. Spoilers for next week suggest that some sexy times go down between her and Thomas and that she’s having a lot of trouble at home without Emily. Seems she gets into a couple of fights too, but how will she cope without her sister by her side?

That’s right: Skins is back. For you lot in the UK,anyway.

And from the first two episodes alone, you know you’re going to be taken on a whirlwind of emotional train-wrecks and drugs-fuelled partying.

I’ll give you a quick re-cap of where we left the gang at the end of the last series…

Freddie, Cook & Effy – The very last episode saw these 3 in a strange love triangle. But who will Effy choose? And when will we find out?

Naomi & Emily – Series 3 gave the show’s most popular couple a happy ending. But will it be all romance and giggles this time round?

Thomas & Pandora – Again, this couple had a relatively happy ending at the end of last season. But is it destined to be all doom and gloom for this couple?

Katie – By the end of episode 9 last season, Katie had come to grips with the fact that her sister was seeing another girl. But will she remain happy for them, or will she feel alone now she’s had her sister taken away from her?

JJ – JJ was a geek from start to finish last season. How will he fair this year? Will he have grown up? Or will he be the same nerdy magician as before?

So there we have it. But what about this season? Let’s re-cap, shall we?

***Do NOT read on if you don’t want to know what happens in season 4.***

Episode 1: Thomas.

Strange choice for the first episode, right?

Well I still fail to see why Thomas’ episode was the season opener, but maybe more will be revealed.

Right from the get go, there’s drama. The very first scene presents a girl, off her face on MDMA, committing suicide in the middle of a packed out club.

The rest of the gang are there too: Thomas DJs as the girl falls and runs to her side. Most of the other main characters look on in shock; most notably, Naomi and Emily.

However, it’s Thomas who is interrogated. After all, he was working at the time of death. He explains that he knows nothing about the girl or where she found the drugs and is released.

The next day, the police have moved to Roundview College – where the whole crew and the dead girl (Sophia) are educated. Each character is interrogated in turn. Cook, on the other hand, takes a detour to the bathroom before being questioned.

Being the rebel he is, Cook takes out packets of MDMA from his pockets and flushes them down the toilet. Was it Cook who sold the drugs to Sophia?

Thomas catches him in the act and a fight breaks out. Cook is saved though, when Freddie comes to collect him for his interview.

Thomas is convinced Cook caused the suicide, and looks to God for help. While he is there, he meets the lovely Andrea, who happens to be the Pastor’s daughter, and there is chemistry immediately. In a moment of chaos, Thomas goes against one of the 10 commandments: Thou shall not commit adultery.

That’s right, kind hearted Thomas cheats on his loving girlfriend Pandora. Who’d have thought?!

Honestly is the best policy, thinks Thomas, and he tells his girlfriend almost immediately of his unfaithfulness. Things are obviously awkward as JJ sits between them, so Thomas heads off to the pub for a few stiff drinks.

Whilst downing his 7th vodka, he sees Cook and Naomi chatting. Cook goes to speak to Thommo, only to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Thomas lashes out on Cook as Naomi screams in horror.

In a shock twist, Naomi blurts out that it was her who sold Sophia the MDMA. She claims she got the powder from Cook, but sold it on because she needed the money. Thomas is disgusted and Naomi begs him not to tell Emily. But should she be worried that he’ll tell someone else? I guess we’ll find out…

Thomas storms out in anger and goes to tell Andrea that he has been unfaithful to the girl he loves. Andrea is upset, but she understands.

Meanwhile, Effy tells Pandora that she shouldn’t forgive Thomas; he should have to pay for what he’s done. Pandora agrees and tells Thomas he’s ruined everything.

In a state of sadness, Thomas heads home to his family.

Depressing episode? YES. But the twists were pretty great.

Episode 2: Emily.

Now we’re talking: an interesting character to focus on.

At the beginning of the episode, the greatest couple of the series seem extremely happy: Naomi gives Emily some cute goggles for her moped and they go out together.

Unfortunately, things start to break down. After they get to school, the police as to interview the couple again, as Sophia’s Mother mentions their names.

Naomi lies about how long the pair were at the party, giving Emily questions of her own. Naomi admits that she sold Sophia the substance and Emily chooses to stick by her woman. Obviously.

Emily goes to Sophia’s house under a fake name, and her Mother lets her check out Sophia’s old room. Emily finds sketches everywhere. She also stumbles upon a university prospectus and inside is a key.

Sophia’s brother Matt enters and Emily panics, putting the prospectus along with the key inside her bag. She shows the key to Naomi, and they figure out that it is the key to Sophia’s cadets locker.

The couple venture out, finding an extremely disturbing shrine to Naomi in the locker. Naomi is freaked out and begs Emily to close the locker.

Making things worse, they’re interrupted by the cadet marching band, so they hide in a cupboard.

When Emily goes home, there’s a bust up between her and her Mother. She tries to tell her that she’s gay and to stop setting her up with boys, but her Mother goes on to explain her dislike for her daughter’s girlfriend.

Angrily, Emily threatens to move out. Her twin sister Katie tries to convince her not to, but Emily does anyway. And where does she go? Naomi’s house, clearly.

Naomi invites her in with open arms, and they proceed to having the most fun EVER, dressing up as Mexicans in the kitchen and drinking themselves silly.

They then move on to a house party, where the rest of the gang are. Cook sees Effy and Freddie kissing and lashes out (again) on a random party-goer. Naomily go home, but Emily can’t sleep. She calls Sophia’s brother to meet her in the club where she died.

When she gets there, Emily shows Matt a box she found of Sophia’s. They agree to open it together. Naomi shows up unannounced, begging Emily not to open it.

All three of them run to the rooftop, and Emily opens the box. Inside it, she finds the story of Sophia’s summer, in which she met Naomi at a Uni open day and kissed her back at her house. Emily is obviously devastated and stands on the edge of the building. But will she jump?

Thankfully, she doesn’t. But she leaves Naomi on the rooftop, crying her eyes out.

The next day, Emily goes to Naomi’s house. Naomi has lovingly left Emily a note on the door reading ‘I’ll Do Anything.’ Emily glances at the upstairs window and Naomi is looking out of it with tears in her eyes.

At the end of the episode, we see Emily walking through Naomi’s front door. But will she forgive her?

Next week: It’s Jack the lad Cook’s episode. Cook goes to prison for assaulting the guy at the party. After being let out, he’s electronically tagged and is forced to stay at his Mother’s house. Previews also show him kissing Naomi. Surely she won’t cheat again?! We’ll have to wait and see…

Photos © e4.com/skins

However, I genuinely think this book is different.

For all of you who have ever watched Skins, you will know it follows a bunch of teens who are at a local sixth form in Bristol. Unlike other teen shows of this type, Skins is actually written by young people who know exactly how teenagers act in Britain today. (Of course, some of the stories are over-dramatized to make it more interesting.)

The book, released for general sale in the UK on January 7th is the first written exclusively revealing what the troublesome young adults have been up to during their summer holiday.

The cast included in the narrative is actually the second one of the show – during the first two seasons, there was a completely different cast – and they live up to their predecessors entirely.

Back to the book… As I was saying, it’s really quite good. Effy (played by Kaya Scodelario) is at the forefront as always, talking of her trip to Italy with her Mother. Unlike Effy, two characters that rarely featured in the third series of the show were Naomi and Emily. The book is different in the fact that many of the chapters focus on them – something that ‘Naomily’ fans should be pretty excited about.

As always, the self-proclaimed ‘Three Musketeers’ stick together (Cook, Freddie and JJ) with the occasional spat in between. In true Skins fashion, the three of them organize a ’sex-a-thon’ to see who can sleep with the most girls in a set time. I told you it was pretty controversial.

Like the series, the novel stays equally as realistic to the lives of today’s teens: their parents may not realize, but every day life for their children often involves sex, drugs and violence, and this is exactly what Skins tries to explain.

So if you were pondering over whether to buy the book or not, I’d say get it. Many people have said that they didn’t like it, but it’s actually quite interesting to find out what the gang have been up to and also makes you feel more like a part of the gang.

Overall Rating:

Be sure to tune in to season 4 of Skins on e4 this month. (28th January.)